one woman's journey to wholeness…

Posts tagged ‘women’

An Early Mantrum

bringing in the light

I am Isis. I am Great Bear. I am Panther. I am Turtle.  I am Horus. I am that I am. I am Yahweh.

As my ego personality steps aside, God moves in, as and through this body bringing it into balance. Homeostasis is restored. I am whole. I am well. I am healed. All aspects of my life are healed and restored to their original divine purpose. I am divinely used to bring peace, healing and blessings to my world.

I do without doing and everything gets done.

Journal Entry Dated: February 21, 2008

shedding tears

Ready or not–it’s chemo day! Saying my prayer over and over; repeating my mantrum: I AM ISIS-GREAT BEAR-PANTHER-TURTLE-HORUS…I AM THAT I AM…

Allowing the Goddess within along with my totem animals to take over and direct this healing process.

Stay out of the way, Toni. It’s important to keep FEAR from interfering with the Great Work taking place within the confines of this physical body. Know that God is in charge.

Focus on securing freelance assignments.

Journal Entry Dated: February 18, 2008

contemplation

I notice that I become antsy and impatient when the action stops; when there is a lull–a time of waiting.

I must learn to lean into these moments of quiet waiting with gratitude, for these are my moments of healing.  Like the ebb and flow of the river below,  its tide rolling in and out; inflow-outflow; action-inaction; movement-rest. This is my time to rejuvenate; to accumulate the energy it will take to travel back and forth to Greenwich, CT; to sit with the chemo drip for three hours. This is the time I need to allow the drugs, Isis and God to do Their work on mind, body and soul.

All is in God’s Time. I must remember that and stop trying to push the river…just let it flow, Toni, just let it flow…

But doubt creeps in; must let go, get back to faith and trust in God-Isis within; trust in this process…this journey. It is divinely-directed and I must fear not.

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