one woman's journey to wholeness…

Posts tagged ‘love’

Thinking About Love Again Today…

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Skyline: Hutchinson River & Long Island Sound – Photo by Toni Roberts

wondering why our love was not enough to keep

beloved grandson

here

in this

   flesh life

came to the  realization

that human love is simply not enough

to keep the

soul

wedded

to

human flesh

for without that

   Essential Ingredient

that everlasting influx of

   LOVE…

of the

DIVINE KIND…

these flesh suits we wear are merely

empty

sacks

of

meaningless

   protoplasm

Toni Roberts’ art and photography may be viewed and purchased at:

http://www.fineartamerica/toniroberts

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.facebook.com/designsbytoniroberts

Gemini Moon…

full moon image stock photo

Full Moon; Stock Photo

 

   Gemini Moon…

in the fullness of

Your Light

the hidden self

   is revealed…

and as the dark self wanes before

   Your Brilliance…

the

Goddess Self

   expands…

illuminating the world

with the

    Healing Light

of

   Your Love…

Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography are available at:

http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

This Precious Gift of Time Alone With You…

lovers door goddess 12 28 13 001

http://www.facebook.com/gaiadaughters

In Memory of Joseph Koonce…My Ol’ Drumming Buddy…

8 27 2012 044

Just talked with Y

We cried  together

Our love for Joseph binds us and

Out of that love has been born

A loving connection with each other

That will not fade with the passage of time

We are bound through him

For all Eternity

8 26 2012 027

My heart is at peace

Despite the great sadness at its center

Deep loss…

My Joseph

Gone from the flesh

We shall meet again

Joseph Koonce and I…

We shall once more

“Hook-up” in the 3-D

In another Time

In another here-now…

To give each other that nudge

or shove, as the case may be

That awakens one from

The Deep Sleep:

From the fascination…mesmerization…

And glamour of  flesh-suits and  Earth life

With all of its glitz, glory, pain, joy and love…

Oh…the intensity…the ecstasy…

of the Love

We shall appear again in each other’s lives

in anther times-pace…another here-now

To press each other forward

along this remarkable journey of

Awakening 

Thank you, Joseph Koonce

My teacher and student

from 1994 to 2013–earth time

I release you back into the Loving Arms of

the Mother 

9 30 2012 034

Oh…Joe…

Just one last favor?

Now that you’re back with the Source

Or closer to It than I am–

Do you think you can send someone

To fill the hole you just left in

My heart and life?

Revelation II…

davin  me 1 4 2013 003

Sitting here at my window altar

in meditation…

contemplation…

thoughts drifting

in

and

out

of

consciousness:

Fear  is the mind-killer

words of the

Bene Gesserit

from

Frank Herbert’s

Dune

echo in my mind…

and I

apprehend

in

that deep place of vitality

at the center of my being

that there is only love and fear

and by always choosing love over fear

regardless

of

what

appears

before

me

in

the

3-D world

I shall pass unscathed

through all danger…

my inner connection is

my only security…

therein lay my

power

“Altared” At My Altar On A Number Seven Day…Incoming Message…

Today is a number seven day…

a day of surrender to the Source of your being.

This is a very propitious time…

with much going on in the lives of those connected to you…

You must remain anchored in Spirit

Allow your God to be you…

to guide your every thought…every action…

every step you take and

word you speak.

Remember–your only job is to

keep on loving and to use your human will to

maintain conscious connection to

The Great Mystery

Let It do the Work

inas…and through you…

from the inside out…

“Altared” States Four…

light-bearers…

thank you

o’ bearers of Light

“bringers of the dawn…”

thank you for this day

this time of inner peace and self-knowledge

thank you for this moment of expanded understanding of the

who...

what

and why

of my being

grandfather…

thank you, grandfather

for the energy streaming forth from you

upon whose waves I ride back

in Time

to another place

the plains of Kenya

a forest full of ebony trees…

an ancient carver…

his countenance the color of the wood

he so lovingly carves…

so carefully sculpts…

into his own image:

universal God-man

descended from the stars…

originator of the species

planter of the seeds from which we

sprout…

speak o’ ancient one

as I listen…

speak to my heart

and to my mind…

infuse me with

your wisdom..

your knowledge

use me as a

transmitter of your

power…

help me to accept that

coniunctio…

I am loved...

I am love

My Love Team and I…

It felt so good

reaching out this weekend

to touch

those

whom

I

love…

All of my “sister-friends”

and male counterparts who are

animus to my anima

Strong beings of like spirit

indomitable warriors

who never give up or lose hope…

Women and men who have learned from life

that morning always follows night

that rainbows appear

after the most frightening of storms…

that new life follows

the bloody, backbreaking,

vagina-tearing pain of

childbirth…

I am so grateful for this love-team…

some of us having

looked major, boogie-men killers:

like cancer…strokes..heart attacks

straight in the eye–

defying self and societal conditioning–

making the so-called, killer,

blink first…

And now, my love-team and I

march on through Life

persevering and steadfast

laughing, dancing, dreaming, drumming…earning doctorate degrees

taking on new lovers

Never looking back…

oblivious to our contemporaries

who fall by the wayside

brought down by their belief

in sickness and

old

    age…

Filled With Something Grand…

I am filled with something so grand

I cannot put a name to it

More splendid than a rainbow

A joy embedded so deeply

Within my heart…

Within my being…

Radiating throughout my body

And as it passes through me

It leaves in its wake

A rush of deep gratitude…

A love that spills from my eyes…

I send it to you

Do you feel it?

Right there…radiating from your heart

Pass it on…

My “Conversations with God” Oct. 5 – 8, 2007

all's right in the world...

My “Conversations with God” October 5, – October 8, 2007

10/5/07

4:24 PM

Looking at Oprah. Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love is being interviewed. I am feeling very jealous; but knowing that it is now that I must truly turn to God for answers for I KNOW NOT WHAT TO DO. Am very frightened re prospect of chemotherapy.

What do I do, my God? Please direct me. Thank You.

Immediate Inner Response:

This, my dear is the beginning of the real journey. Jimmy (my dead father!) will deliver the vehicle you will ride inward to the Voice and Wisdom of the Divine. All answers—your way will unfold. And without thinking or planning or even knowing, you will find that way—your way—unfolding as you place one foot before the other and walk through your life.

10/6/07

8:25 AM

Toni:

And so, God, what am I supposed to do with this day? What is it You would have me do with this day of my life? What function? What purpose?

Immediate Inner Response:

The function and purpose of your life each day, my dear one, is to live it. Not from some pre-ordained, pre-arranged “Plan” set in heaven or in earth but to live moment by moment from the truth of your heart. That is the purpose, the function of any life.

Even I do not know what you will do, how you will live in the next second of your life. For what would be the role, the function of FREE WILL if all was already set in stone by ME or any other being?

Toni:

So, instead of looking for a pre-known plan for each moment of my life, I will let it unfold as it will; paying strict attention to my own heart; my own desires; and stop trying to sublimate my desires to live the Buddhist Way; denying my desires because I believe them too carnal—too low-CHAKRA; not lofty enough for such a spiritually evolved being as I.

10/07/07

AM

What do I really, really, really want today? Well, at this moment…a peaceful day of doing absolutely nothing. To be alone with my Self in a clean apartment without the woman being here to clean it. Peace. Solitude. Maybe just Y. (my niece visiting from out of town) coming over to talk and visit with me.

PM

Did get a day alone. Well there was the visit from my friend, C. and J., the aide—but other than those two—alone—and came face to face with two of the seemingly many saboteurs who hide out within: Lady Vanity and Spoiled Child, who was actually getting into a snitch about Y., B. and G. going to my mother’s house and not coming over here. Spoiled Child “performed” for D. and the nurse, who both immediately put me in my selfish, self-centered, spoiled child place.

Toni:

God, how do I trust myself? How do I know when it is the Self or just one of the many destructive, inner saboteurs running the show? How do I know the difference?

Immediate Inner Response:

You know by the consequences.

Toni:

That’s not satisfactory. I want to avoid bad consequences by not performing the behavior that results in bad circumstances.

Immediate Inner Response:

When you feel the way you felt today; all irrationally emotional and not loved; like a neglected, unloved, abandoned child in face of the reality to the contrary; when you feel the way you did as a child—then you will know.

10/08/07

Well, what kind of day shall this be? Quiet? Pensive? Introspective? You know, God, I don’t know that I really know myself. I wonder…like Spoiled Child who threw a major tantrum yesterday because she was not the center of attention. Although in her heart, she didn’t truly want all of that company, she really expected her brother to go pick up her mother—her 87 year old mother who has been through carpal tunnel surgery, cataract surgery, two knee replacements, three heart attacks; open heart surgery; a mastectomy, a lumpectomy, radiation treatments and is who is on Tamoxifen and dozens of other drugs for-the-rest-of-her-life-mother—and bring all of them over here to Spoiled Child’s house.

Boy, I shocked and disappointed my friend, C. and of course, D., was thoroughly disgusted with me when I related the whole tale to them. Wow. It wasn’t until C. said what she said to me that I was able to look at myself and see what and who she and D. were seeing. Am I always so self-involved and self-centered? Probably.

Please help me to see myself as others see me; to see my behavior; to not let Spoiled Child and Lady Vanity run my life. Thank You. Is there anything You have to say to me this morning, God, which will perhaps cause this to be a better day? Any guidance? Direction?

Immediate Inner Response:

Stay awake. Don’t go back to sleep. Especially be very aware—attentive to your emotions. Remember how you felt when you had your Spoiled Child meltdown yesterday—the emotional pain, the anger, the feelings that they (your family) didn’t love you and that you, therefore, didn’t care about them; that you would just cross them out of your life. Ask yourself: when did you used to feel like that? When did you experience those same emotions? When you were a child! When you were not getting love in the way you needed it. When you feel that way now, it is a signal that—not so much the spoiled child—but the hurt, wounded, emotionally neglected and abandoned child has come back up to the surface of the personality, and is getting ready to run the show from her hurt, pain and wounds.

It is then time for you to remember, you are not that child any longer. You are very loved and respected by your brother, mother and especially by your nieces. They think that you are the greatest!

It is time for you to live up to the high image of yourself that you have put forward all of these years. You are being watched; from those above and those below. They are watching you very carefully to see how you come out of this challenge; a serious challenge, yes, but not necessarily deadly. Remember: you still call the shots about when to stay and when to leave; and what to do while you are here; about the quality of your journey; who you are and how you behave. Ask yourself: do I really want to stay here? What do I truly want in my heart?

Toni:

My health back! My strength! My strong, beautiful body! To be whole! Disease-free!

Reflections:

I am a spiritual warrior. One who has a mission and is committed to that mission regardless of what obstacles may appear. And what is my mission? The fulfillment of my Soul’s purpose for being here-now.

I now commit myself with discipline to find my new path; to complete this transformation and to fulfill my Soul’s function and purpose this lifetime. And I can only know and express that by exploring the deepest and tiniest desires of my heart.

I now ride the rushing waves of my life! Living fully from every CHAKRA; even the first and second! I am ready to know myself again as a sexual being. I am willing to let go of old paradigms of which I am probably not even aware and within which I am still living. I release my past. I step out of the box and am ready to jump into the void—the unknown which will lead to freedom, joy, health, abundance and love…love…love!

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