one woman's journey to wholeness…

Posts tagged ‘light’

A Day of Gratitude and Understanding…

rising…rising…ever rising…

What joy!

Am learning to give this life I call “mine” back to Life: it’s rightful “Owner”

Thank You…Life

for this sense of peace, safety, love, security, assurance

which arises from a place

deep within The Mystery

assuring me that all is well…

that You now flow freely…unobstructed in, as and through me…

as the True Author of this

ever-changing…ever-evolving

experience

called the life of Toni Roberts…

I now see shape and purpose

in the daily unfolding of a journey

that began before the beginning of time...

I am re-membering what “i” came here knowing…

even then in the ignorant, pain-filled innocence

of childhood…adolescence…young adulthood…

even then I knew

at some deep

essential

level of being…

the purpose of this journey…

I now understand:

it is through the of deep wounds

of the soul…

that Light passes through

and with that Light

Love

long held down…repressed by Fear

Love

bubbling up to the surface of being…

transforming

a chaotic…badly constructed…and purposeless

Idiot’s Tale called human life on planet earth

into

the experience of

channeling Life

from the inside out

The Promise of Light…

sometimes my world is unbelievably bleak…

enveloped in darkness…

out of balance…off-kilter…

but yet…within the very darkness

is hope…

the promise of light

Journal Entry: July 12, 2011

looking through a different window

JOURNAL ENTRY: JULY 12, 2011

Been away from blogging for a while. Busy living…thinking…contemplating my navel—learning and growing…I hope…

Decided to fast-forward re the cancer “event.” Yes, that was exactly what it turned out to be: an event—an opportunity for me to learn about who I am and why I’m here—an occasion for growth. And so, I stopped the chemo, chose life and turned within to what I call Divine Intelligence…a loving God…Spirit…and asked to be directed. There immediately followed radio announcements, chance conversations and unexpected visitors all bringing me exactly what I needed at the very moment of that need. And since that decisive day in early 2008 to this twelfth day of July, 2011, I have enjoyed the fullness of radiant health.

I’m not really sure of the direction that this Blog will now take. It is no longer up to me for I have fully and finally turned my gaze from the past; and in the here-now have submitted—surrendered—the complete and total focus of my attention to that Inner Presence.

A page from this morning’s writings may clarify:

            …enough already! Let all of that crap go! It owns you. It is still alive and well living in, as, through you! Do not think upon the past. Whenever a thought pops into mind—along with its BAD FEELINGS, simply replace it with TRUTH! And what is truth?

  1. That the thoughts and feelings that I am now experiencing are creations of the frightened child—the part of me that believes that she is ALONE in this 3-D HELL with all of its boogey-men popping up here, then there, then here again—BOO! BOO! HA! GOTCHA!
  2.  That this same part of me believes that it is disconnected from the Source of its being; from this PHONOMENOM called “God,” The Creator, the All in all. She firmly believes that the events, situations and people popping up in her daily experience—all of these “negatives” that either frighten her or make her sad—are real. Indeed, they do constitute a “reality,” however, it is one that is created and recreated by the constant focus of her mind, attention and belief upon them. It is my own mental energy keeping the boogey-men of my life alive and in place! Somewhat like walking in place and going nowhere.
  3.  BUT—simultaneously—there exists another “world,” so to speak, another Reality. The Real Reality—a TOTALLY DIFERENT HERE-NOW that exists in the same Time Space in which my human consciousness exists. And if “i” step aside and allow It—this Super Self—Christ Self to take over the direction of the Entity of which “i” am a part, It will unfold a new Reality: a Heaven on earth; in, as and through me: the “i,” Its vehicle.

It’s the same old story—the same old choice: Heaven or Earth; God or the mammon? Earth and the mammon being the creations of the “i. Versus La Diosa Crista adentro, the Christ within Who will take the oars of this “boat,” if permitted, and row it in a direction that the “i” did not chose; into areas that are yet unformed; unseen and unimaginable from the vantage point of the “i.” .

It is simply time for me to turn from contemplation of the past and begin honoring my imagination and creativity right here-now in the present; allowing my life…my very breath to flow not from the “i” but from the Center of my being where dwells That Which Breathes All into Reality…

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