one woman's journey to wholeness…

Posts tagged ‘Health’

I Have No Doubt Whatsoever…

009

Daughters of Gaia; collage/photo by Toni Roberts

 

that there is an entire

BATTALION

of

Goddess-Warriors

on the

   “Other Side“…

   supporting me…

   fighting my battles…

   guiding…

   guarding…

protecting

   me…

especially from

   myself

thank

   You...

thank

   You

 

.

“Rainy Days & Sundays…”

rainy day river 001

Rainy…River…Day; Photo by Toni Roberts

 

Nothing like a rainy day to turn one’s attention inward…

I was sitting here at my window altar

Exploring

Heart

   Soul…

and

Consciousness

When I uncovered tiny pockets of

Anger

Sadness

and

Rage

   That remained

Hidden

Within the dark recesses of my being…

   Buried…

   Stinking…

SHIT

Some of it dating back to childhood

   (And we all know how long ago that was!)…

Oh, how well I know

and remember

How

Unexpressed

Anger

Sadness

and

Rage

   Can…

   Will…

Eventually manifest in the

Flesh

as

   Disease…

And so…

On this rainy day

I got busy with the necessary

   Inner Work

Scrubbing

Cleansing

Mopping up

Vacuuming

Clearing

and

Cleaning out

The tons of stinking…festering…rotting

   SHIT…

I unloaded every speck that I could find of that

Inner Garbage

So that I may walk

Free

Clear

Light

   Unburdened

By yesterday’s pain

   Into tomorrow’s sunshine

Consejo A Una Hermanita…

Photo by Toni Roberts Central Park, NYC

Photo by Toni Roberts Central Park, NYC

 I can tell you one thing for sure

Life cannot be figured out in your head…

The solutions lie not there…

Neither is your mind the dwelling place of

Wisdom or true understanding…

The place in which to spend your

Time, attention and energy

Is your breath…

The in and out of your breathing

There lies the answer to

Every prayer

Every need

Every lack

Every pain

Every misery

Every dark night of the soul

The answer is always right there…

Nearer than your heart

It’s in the breath...

Breathing in and letting gobreathing in and letting go...breathing in and letting go

Breathing in and letting go

Bathing In The Healing Waters Of Gratitude…Of Thanksgiving…

healing waters...

healing waters…

bathing in the healing waters of Gratitude during these days of Thanksgiving…

deep in the dwelling place of Silence

listening…remembering…

love…family…clan…tribe…nation…planet…universe…multiverse…

I am here-now

everywhere existing

as intelligent vibrating energy…

a force in motion…

Life Itself

unfolding from the inside out

without rhyme or reason…

making no sense at all

to the rational mind…

The Silence speaks

in shifting sensations

within my heart and solar plexus

words felt in flutters

that rush up

as tears of release…

shape-shifting into joy peace

grateful commitment to

a Nameless Power

a Glorious Mystery

unfolding in through as

all that I am…

as all that there is

I move forward in life

in the spirit of cooperation and love

knowing that all that comes my way…

comes my way

simply to pass

and that every situation…

and everyone within my sphere of influence

is blessed and changed for the better…

and for that–I am most grateful…

I Am Finding…

perseverance...

perseverance…

that everything in my life flows in TIMEon time

with all the pieces fitting together nicely

to make one beautiful whole…

that when I hold my fourth and second CHAKRAS

in an open and receptive YIN position…

perfect YANG energy appears in my life

in the form of a man whose energetic frequency

vibrates at a rate fully complementary

to my own vibrational frequency

that it does not matter how many years

I have inhabited this human form…

for as long as I leave myself open and receptive

I am born again and again…

and each new woman

comes into being

in the full and lusty expression of her

Goddess Self

that whenever I surrender

to the so-called Divine

I am–in Truth–turning my life over to

a built-in, self-correcting system

of planetary evolution…

and that learning to trust this

Great Mystery of evolution

is a process...

and that the more I trust this process

the more I am rewarded...

and the more I am rewarded

the more I trust this process

And finally…

I am finding that “God” really does not need

my assistance in all of this…

just my willingness…

To All Djembefolas…A Message From Spirit!

733

I am Djembefola

I am Woman-through-whom

Spirit speaks

When Djembefola is connected to her drum

As one instrument…

The Drum is Woman…

The Woman is Drum…

The Voice of Mother Africa speaking

It is the energy of Woman

Feminine Energy….

Openness…receptivity…giving…love…

The creative, unifying Energy of Djembefolas…

Rippling out in beats of Love…

Nourishment from the Mother…

Healing the souls of Her wounded children…

Drum on! Djembefola!

Become One with your Drum and continue your Holy Work!

Drum on!

 

Farewell to Ayanna Guyhto…My Beloved Niece…

Yana and bijou 2012They took my beloved Ayanna off of life support today. The body is slowly shutting down. I can no longer say her body because I sense her soul has already returned to the Meeting Place: that SpaceTime wherein we make our plans for the next excursion to flesh bodies

I weep–not for my beloved–for she is free

I weep for myself

For the heavy ache of her absence

I weep for the loss of that bubbly personality…

And the shared jokes that only she and I got

I am already missing the Emails…

And the telephone conversations

In which we dared to reveal to one another

Parts of ourselves ordinarily kept hidden

I miss the easy going intimacy we shared…

And the trust

You hold a piece of my heart baby-girl…

And I will always treasure the part of you

That you left behind…as memories

I will always treasure the uniqueness of the daughter-from-another-mother relationship we shared in this go-round as spirits-in-flesh. And although I so look forward to our reunion on the Other Side, I am in no hurry to leave this crazy Third-Dimension that we both so thoroughly enjoy. I will continue drumming my ass off every Saturday–hoping the reverberations reach all the way to Wherever you are. I will walk my mile a day–take my supplements and eat organic–in the care of this holy temple.  I will continue plunging fully into the exquisite joy of living. I will squeeze every drop of Love that I can–into each day–just as you did–beloved baby-girl–

Niece…daughter of my heart

I bid you adieu, sweet one…A Dios…See ya’…

In Memory of Joseph Koonce…My Ol’ Drumming Buddy…

8 27 2012 044

Just talked with Y

We cried  together

Our love for Joseph binds us and

Out of that love has been born

A loving connection with each other

That will not fade with the passage of time

We are bound through him

For all Eternity

8 26 2012 027

My heart is at peace

Despite the great sadness at its center

Deep loss…

My Joseph

Gone from the flesh

We shall meet again

Joseph Koonce and I…

We shall once more

“Hook-up” in the 3-D

In another Time

In another here-now…

To give each other that nudge

or shove, as the case may be

That awakens one from

The Deep Sleep:

From the fascination…mesmerization…

And glamour of  flesh-suits and  Earth life

With all of its glitz, glory, pain, joy and love…

Oh…the intensity…the ecstasy…

of the Love

We shall appear again in each other’s lives

in anther times-pace…another here-now

To press each other forward

along this remarkable journey of

Awakening 

Thank you, Joseph Koonce

My teacher and student

from 1994 to 2013–earth time

I release you back into the Loving Arms of

the Mother 

9 30 2012 034

Oh…Joe…

Just one last favor?

Now that you’re back with the Source

Or closer to It than I am–

Do you think you can send someone

To fill the hole you just left in

My heart and life?

Incoming Thoughts On Becoming Whole…

river at twilight

river at twilight

 

right-doing flows from right-being

sunset

sunset

 

let go…be still…surrender

and thus be made ready for Divine Service

at the appointed time

sacred space

sacred space

 

illumination does not come while shopping or bar-b-que-ing

it steals upon one slowly

in the Silence

when one is alone in the dark stillness

of Being

sunset

sunset

 

what is most difficult in this process of becoming whole

is the necessity of surrender

of submitting one’s ego-directed will

to Something that can only be felt…or sensed…

never known in the three-dimensional modes of

touch…sight…hearing...taste or smell

one is, nonetheless, acutely aware of

It…

some  indwelling Thing

that is more true…

more real…

than any thing in the

manifest world

 

Watching The River Flow…

watching the river flow...

watching the river flow

Another day of

sitting here in my favorite spot…

watching the river flow.

Slowly.

Easily.

Peacefully.

Effortlessly pressing forward

despite the disturbance

less than two minutes ago

caused by

three water scooters racing

along its surface.

I wonder…

had the river not been disturbed by those scooters,

wouldn’t it now be calm? At peace?

Its movement imperceptible to my eyes?

Is what I perceive as a disturbance

as a negative occurrence–

in truth–neither good nor bad

as regards the life of the river?

The boys have had their fun

and the river, now adjusting to the “disturbance”

is slowly falling back into equilibrium…

into its natural rhythm.

The “disturbance” has not in the least

veered the river from its steady course or

made it different from what it is.

And so, I take a lesson this day from the river

and allow  every person, event, experience, emotion and

appearance-of-the-moment

to pass through me as easily

as those  boys passed through the river below…

leaving it ultimately untouched, undisturbed

and pressing ever forward

in an unobstructed flow

towards its destiny.

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: