one woman's journey to wholeness…

Posts tagged ‘Fear’

Whenever FEAR Rears Its Ugly Head…

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Light & Shadow On The Water – Photo by Toni Roberts


as it is prone to do

sooner or later…

under one set of circumstances

or another…

I simply take


in hand and allow





that is part of




to lead us both

out of the


and into

















I Am Discovering…

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On A Clear Day One Can See Forever – Wetlands & L. I. Sound; NYC – Photo by Toni Roberts


that an


and then immediate 




is the





and all else that would do one



More Photos By Toni Roberts:










Today, I Found Freedom…

artwork river 10 14 14 085

Freedom – Pencil Drawing/Photo by Toni Roberts

by letting go of




Revelation II…

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Sitting here at my window altar

in meditation…


thoughts drifting






Fear  is the mind-killer

words of the

Bene Gesserit


Frank Herbert’s


echo in my mind…

and I



that deep place of vitality

at the center of my being

that there is only love and fear

and by always choosing love over fear









3-D world

I shall pass unscathed

through all danger…

my inner connection is

my only security…

therein lay my


“Altared” States Five…

“altared” states…

As I sit here daily

“altared” at my altar

I am discovering that there is, indeed, Something here in my heart

that responds to me intelligently and oh, so lovingly

as I push valiantly along this path of no signs.

I have  HELPERS  as real as you and I…

whose words of wisdom and truth

keep me faith-filled and grounded:

God is in charge.

The only sane choice ever…in all matters…is to wait for God to act first.

Keep your focus off of that which you desire.

Turn your attention ever-inward to the Christ Indwelling…

to that “Place” within from which True Life and all Being unfolds.

Remember–you are only a vessel…an instrument…

the vehicle and not the driver…the clay and not the sculptor.

 In this endlessly unfolding human drama…

you are neither playwright nor director…

you are merely an actor…and a bit part player, at that. 

 When you can be perfectly at peace with these Truths of your being…

when you are able to “chop wood and haul water” with joy and gratitude

for being so privileged as to be so used by the Creator

then and only then will you experience peace beyond understanding and

yeah, that kind of rich” abundance.

Remove your attention from the world of form and

keep it glued to the Power which underlies

all that you see.

I  thank you, my Inner TeachersAspects of my Greater Self.

I pledge to You the same faithfulness and constancy that you show me

day by day, step by step as I move prayerfully and cautiously through this  life.

And although I cannot see, touch or hear you with my physical senses

I know that You are indeed, with me always

in all ways.

I know beyond a shadow of doubt

that as I continue seeking the “kingdom” within…

all else shall be added unto me.


Hanging On a Meat Rack in Hell



Hanging On a Meat Rack in Hell

My last blog? February 2, 2012. And where have I been for more than a month? Hanging on a meat rack in hell!! Closeted away with all of my hidden fears, shadow selves and yucky, dark ugliness hidden in the corners of my heart. Face to face with my denials. The walls of all my false assumptions and constructs ruthlessly ripped down…exposing me to rooms within the temple of my being, of whose existence I was totally ignorant. Every ugly, feared circumstance and event bursting onto the stage of my life with a vengeance. Challenges at every turn. Dumb, blind, disabled.

But I hung on. I persevered, clinging steadfastly to that invisible hand that reached out to me from nowhere. I followed the path of my two feet as I moved blindly along in the darkness—sensing by faith alone the light before me. I refused to let that fundamental Fear which inhabits the very gut of humanity shake me loose from the Truth of my Being. And thus, I have walked out of hell back into the light of this glorious, pre-spring afternoon. Once again, I am free. I step gingerly into a new phase of this process of initiation. I move step by careful step…day by day back out into the world created by humanity. Ever cautious of remaining in it but not of it.

My journey to the underworld was not without great lessons and benefits. I now know without a doubt and from personal experience and not hearsay, that as long as this human-ego-personality-self continues to move through this third-dimensional realm totally committed to the authentic Driver of this flesh vehicle; with my heart and will surrendered to the Oars-Woman who rows this boat down the river of life—this life of mine shall unfold smoothly—from the inside out—with fewer side trips to Hades.

It is also becoming crystal clear that the hell in which I found myself hanging was created by my own thoughts and emotions. I am seeing that we create our individual and collective hells from an invisible, mysterious, obedient to our mental and emotional demandsGod-Stuff.” As I grow in understanding and acceptance of what iswhatever it isregardless of how I perceive it—all things ultimately work out for my highest good and the highest good of all whose lives intersect with mine. What is needed from me is simply acceptance, patience and a persevering steadfastness of spirit—in the face of all fear and doubt.

And so, I move forward this day consciously generating and discharging into my world, strong waves of gratitude and love. This I do every single time I become aware of thinking a thought and/or feeling a feeling. For thought-forms and feelings (i.e., e-motions or energy-in-motion) are the building blocks of our third dimensional, human reality. Thus, I am becoming a co-creator or facilitator in what is, in essence, a Divine—for lack of another word—process or experience of being in a human form within this “space” that we’ve named planet earth.

By offering myself up as a clear, empty instrument or vessel of so-called Divine Energy, I become one with IT—separated from this humanly constructed, fear-based reality—and in a constant and conscious state of AT-ONE-MENT.

Thus I wait in patient anticipation to see what glory unfolds next in, as and through this bubble-in-the Cosmic-Soup-that “i” am.

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