one woman's journey to wholeness…

Posts tagged ‘fall’

Season Of Thanksgiving…

new awakenings...

new awakenings…

new day

new dawn

new awakenings

new understanding

joy

family

love

thanksgiving…

new foundations for being

the river...late fall...

the river…late fall…

 

everything in flux again

trees changing color and shape daily

this scene, which just weeks ago

days ago?

was lush with the ostentatious ridiculousness of early fall

now pale and emaciated echoes of what was

death slowly encroaching

season of change

of metamorphosis

transformation

I hear whispers

see you in the next life

the one that awaits you just around the corner

of coming winter

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On Death…Dying…Souls Leaving Without Saying Good-bye…Tears…Laughter and Drumming For My Life In Marcus Garvey Park…

souls leaving without saying good-bye…

Spoke to my old college buddy, M., this morning.

Her husband, C., keeled over and died in the middle of their conversation

in their hotel room

in Atlantic City

Friday morning.

There he was one minute yammering away

and then he was gone

in

a

split

second.

M. was asking him from the bathroom,

having just gotten out of the shower herself,

if he was going to shower next or

wait until morning?

“Now.” He answers her. “I can smell myself.”

Then...thud

She hears what sounds like something dropping on the floor

in the next room.

And sure enough…

something had dropped on the floor…

her husband.

He was stone, cold dead.

That makes me weep.

I weep not

for my friend, M.

nor for her husband, C.

I weep because life is so fragile…

so temporary…

so uncertain.

As I sit here at my window altar

writing these words,

I have no way of knowing if they will be my last

and if in a week or so

my daughter will  be using her

emergency key to enter my apartment

to dispose of my rotting, stinking body

after my soul had up and decided to leave today

without even saying good-bye.

That thought makes makes me laugh…

And think.

And I am then filled with gratitude

another beautiful day of life…

for having left this apartment yesterday

to meet up with my Sister Drum Slut, Y.

in Marcus Garvey Park

where I drummed my ass off

along with a handful of diehard drummers

squeezing in as much drumming as we can

before fall turns to winter

and it’s just too damn cold

to sit out there in the park

drumming for hours as if

our lives depended upon it.

And they do…

our lives…

depend upon it…

at least mine does…

We drummed as if our spirits

would up and leave

without

saying

good-bye…

if we didn’t drum for our lives…

Autumn…Season of Death

river at autumn

 

river at autumn II

 

Autumn…Season of Death

I sit here gazing out at my river…allowing my mind to drift along with its flow. I am reminded by the changing colors of the trees that summer has, indeed, passed; and like the trees on the far shore of the river, I, too, am undergoing a season of change…a season of death.

Unlike years prior, I am experiencing this season of death not with sadness and gloom but with a quiet joy in my heart because now, in this season of my maturity, I am experiencing death and rebirth simultaneously.

Who? What is dying? And how can I rejoice over the death of any part of self?

She who would hold me back on this journey of at-one-ment is gone. The fear-driven, doubting, ego-personality-self; the one who trusted nothing—no one—but her own blind, limited, ignorant-of-the-truth-self has passed away…

She’s been burned to ash in the fires of initiation; and from those ashes, my new, Christ-infused-Soul now arises.

The Sacred Marriage has taken place; my soul has taken a bridegroom—the Bridegroom.

Yang and Yin have been joined together. The Holy Couple now rule this body, mind, soul…life.

I AM renewed, rebuilt, restored as the God Seed takes root and flowers into new being.

My life is now lived under the authority of the GodWoman within to whom responsibility has been transferred. Instead of attempting work out (in my tired, little brain) every matter that gives me pause, I have given Her full permission to be my response in every matter and aspect of my life.

When I am brutally honest with myself, I am forced to admit that I, the “i” that is communicating these thoughts, does not have a clue as to what this “third dimension” of Reality and the myriad forms contained within it should look like. Therefore, I have returned responsibility for this life—individual and collective—to its rightful “Owner—that which is responsible for the creation and maintenance of the entire universe and all of its contents—including us confused humans.

My life is becoming a celebration of the demise of ruler-ship of the flesh and the triumphant restoration of the ruler-ship of what we humans perceive as the Divinity underlying all creation.

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