one woman's journey to wholeness…

Posts tagged ‘divine wisdom’

On Trump’s Victory…

I hereby surrender

to the

Great Mystery of Life

and

relinquish all human requirements

to

   understand…

let us hope that there is

indeed

something greater

than

human power

   at work here…

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A New Creation Tale…

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Collage/photo by Toni Roberts

(From time to time, as I look out upon my world, I think: It’s time again for A New Creation Tale. And I dig out a fable I wrote a few years ago during troubled times like these through which we are currently living.)

Part One

 Once upon a time, many long eons ago, longer than the human imagination can conjure, there lived on earth a Wise Being. This Wise Being had been roaming the earth for what seemed to Herforever. In fact, the earliest memory the Wise Being had…was that of being a Wise Being roaming the Earth.

Despite the fact that the Wise Being was very tired of being alone, She definitely was not lonely, for She had many, many friends scattered throughout the earth; creatures of every imaginable size and nature.

There were the humongous Ice-o-poids of the North who lived in magnificent castles of ice that sparkled crystal-like in the midday sun.

In the South were the splendid Maternoids: huge, dusky pulsations of the most pleasant emotions. The Maternoids spent their days and nights in eternal peace; building reflections of their Inner Splendor upon the earth.

The Mentaloids of the East were also friends of the Wise Being. She spent many a moonlit night in the company of these great creatures of Light, Her Mind joined with theirs in glorious and Holy Communion with the Creatress.

And when in the West, the Wise Being adapted to the ways of the Earthoids, co-existing among them as they worked the raw elements of the earth into magnificent edifices in which to worship the Creatress.

 ♀♀♀

 One day, due to Her great sadness at being alone and one-of-a-kind among all of the other earth creatures, the Wise Being decided to journey to the Land of the Creatress in order to request a Companion.

Anything…anything at all that the Wise Being or the earth creatures requested from the Creatress was theirs for the asking. However, it was no simple matter to journey to the Land of the Creatress in order to make the request.

The Wise Being first lay down upon Her grand bed, summoning Her pride of huge, black, panther-like creatures who immediately formed a protective circle around their Mistresses bed. There they would remain—fierce, silent sentinels guarding the flesh Body of their Lady as Her Spirit journeyed far beyond the mental realms.

Confident that Her Body was safe, the Wise Being could now focus Her attention upon Her creature friends scattered around the earth. After a short period, She was able to make mental contact with them, explaining to Her beloved creatures that She would be absent from their lives for a short while. The Wise Being’s heart pained as the creatures cried out in alarm, “How will we exist without Your Presence and Wise Counsel?”

The Wise Being assured all of Her earth companions that they would manage quite well for the short time of Her absence.

“Although I love all of you most dearly,” She explained, “And I derive the greatest pleasure living among you, something is missing for Me. I watch you as you join in Joyful Holy Union, multiplying your likenesses upon our earth…and I am saddened…for I have no Companion…none of my Kind with whom I may lay and multiply.”

No further explanation was needed. The creatures of the earth told the Wise Being that they most certainly understood Her need. For how could one survive without Joyful Holy Union? They blessed Her and wished Her well on Her journey to the Land of the Creatress of All.

With Her Mind thus free and clear of all earthly responsibilities and concerns, the Wise Being began Her journey. She continued envisioning HerSelf moving among Her beloved earth creatures, sharing the beauty of their varied lives and lands. Great joy and love for Her beloved friends welled up within Her Heart. The Wise Being’s vision of the creatures and the beauty of their lands grew so clear and powerful, that a part of Who She Was drifted from Her Body to walk among Her friends—many of whom were able to see Her Presence despite the fact that Her Body remained stretched out upon her bed under the watchful eyes of her animal protectors.

The Wise Being pushed Her Powers of Imagination further and further; “imaging” a Companion who walked at Her Side as She roamed the far reaches of the earth. She allowed Herself to feel the Love, Joy and Delight emanating from this Magnificent Being of Her Own Creation as She introduced Him to the Sensual Splendors of the earth.

Her Companion finally reached for Hertouched Her

The explosiveness of His Touch was all it took to jar Her Essence free of all earthly constraints.

Thus began the Wise Being’s Journey to the Land of the Creatress.

 ♀♀♀

  She traveled far into the vast, dark recesses of the multiverse, flying past many strange and unknown worlds which She was sorely tempted to explore. But being the Wise Being that She was, She kept to the goal of Her Journey and did not divert Her Attention to the many temptations along the Way. After soaring through countless realms beyond Time and Space, our Heroine finally arrives at the Throne of the Creatress. The Wise Being knew that She had arrived at Her Destination when She encountered a Light so bright, She could not gaze upon It.

A great voice boomed from the center of the Light: “keeper of the earth, how may We serve you?”

Most Holy One,” the Wise Being responded, “I have come to make a request.”

“Speak up, my child; be assured that whatever you need for our beloved earth and its creatures is theirs for the asking.”

“It is not for the earth that I come, Most High, but for me.”

“You are at the Source, my daughter, you well know that whatever you so desire is immediately available to you. I only caution that you be sure of your desire before you speak it. Remember—The Word is Law.

“My desire…my need is for a CompanionOne of My Kind—with whom I may join in Joyful Holy Union and thus multiply and spread my Likeness throughout the earth as do the creatures.”

“So it is done,” the Creatress replied. “Return now to the earth.”

The Wise Being thanked Her Holy Mother and journeyed back to earth; once again having to resist the many diversions of limitless realms on the return trip.

 ♀♀♀

 

Upon Her return, there was Her Companion—lying there beside Her. So thrilled and delighted was She—and much to the embarrassment of Her great feline companions—who slinked away unnoticed—the Wise Being began showering Her Companion with greedy kisses and hungry embraces.

After two days and nights of Joyful Holy Union, the Lovers traveled the earth in merry companionship; guiding the earth creatures with renewed love and wisdom as the first civilizations were laid down upon the planet.

The Divine Couple eventually produced four beautiful Daughters from Their many, many, many Joyful Holy Unions.

 -to be continued-

(copyright 2013 Toni Roberts)

 

My “Conversations with God” Oct. 5 – 8, 2007

all's right in the world...

My “Conversations with God” October 5, – October 8, 2007

10/5/07

4:24 PM

Looking at Oprah. Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love is being interviewed. I am feeling very jealous; but knowing that it is now that I must truly turn to God for answers for I KNOW NOT WHAT TO DO. Am very frightened re prospect of chemotherapy.

What do I do, my God? Please direct me. Thank You.

Immediate Inner Response:

This, my dear is the beginning of the real journey. Jimmy (my dead father!) will deliver the vehicle you will ride inward to the Voice and Wisdom of the Divine. All answers—your way will unfold. And without thinking or planning or even knowing, you will find that way—your way—unfolding as you place one foot before the other and walk through your life.

10/6/07

8:25 AM

Toni:

And so, God, what am I supposed to do with this day? What is it You would have me do with this day of my life? What function? What purpose?

Immediate Inner Response:

The function and purpose of your life each day, my dear one, is to live it. Not from some pre-ordained, pre-arranged “Plan” set in heaven or in earth but to live moment by moment from the truth of your heart. That is the purpose, the function of any life.

Even I do not know what you will do, how you will live in the next second of your life. For what would be the role, the function of FREE WILL if all was already set in stone by ME or any other being?

Toni:

So, instead of looking for a pre-known plan for each moment of my life, I will let it unfold as it will; paying strict attention to my own heart; my own desires; and stop trying to sublimate my desires to live the Buddhist Way; denying my desires because I believe them too carnal—too low-CHAKRA; not lofty enough for such a spiritually evolved being as I.

10/07/07

AM

What do I really, really, really want today? Well, at this moment…a peaceful day of doing absolutely nothing. To be alone with my Self in a clean apartment without the woman being here to clean it. Peace. Solitude. Maybe just Y. (my niece visiting from out of town) coming over to talk and visit with me.

PM

Did get a day alone. Well there was the visit from my friend, C. and J., the aide—but other than those two—alone—and came face to face with two of the seemingly many saboteurs who hide out within: Lady Vanity and Spoiled Child, who was actually getting into a snitch about Y., B. and G. going to my mother’s house and not coming over here. Spoiled Child “performed” for D. and the nurse, who both immediately put me in my selfish, self-centered, spoiled child place.

Toni:

God, how do I trust myself? How do I know when it is the Self or just one of the many destructive, inner saboteurs running the show? How do I know the difference?

Immediate Inner Response:

You know by the consequences.

Toni:

That’s not satisfactory. I want to avoid bad consequences by not performing the behavior that results in bad circumstances.

Immediate Inner Response:

When you feel the way you felt today; all irrationally emotional and not loved; like a neglected, unloved, abandoned child in face of the reality to the contrary; when you feel the way you did as a child—then you will know.

10/08/07

Well, what kind of day shall this be? Quiet? Pensive? Introspective? You know, God, I don’t know that I really know myself. I wonder…like Spoiled Child who threw a major tantrum yesterday because she was not the center of attention. Although in her heart, she didn’t truly want all of that company, she really expected her brother to go pick up her mother—her 87 year old mother who has been through carpal tunnel surgery, cataract surgery, two knee replacements, three heart attacks; open heart surgery; a mastectomy, a lumpectomy, radiation treatments and is who is on Tamoxifen and dozens of other drugs for-the-rest-of-her-life-mother—and bring all of them over here to Spoiled Child’s house.

Boy, I shocked and disappointed my friend, C. and of course, D., was thoroughly disgusted with me when I related the whole tale to them. Wow. It wasn’t until C. said what she said to me that I was able to look at myself and see what and who she and D. were seeing. Am I always so self-involved and self-centered? Probably.

Please help me to see myself as others see me; to see my behavior; to not let Spoiled Child and Lady Vanity run my life. Thank You. Is there anything You have to say to me this morning, God, which will perhaps cause this to be a better day? Any guidance? Direction?

Immediate Inner Response:

Stay awake. Don’t go back to sleep. Especially be very aware—attentive to your emotions. Remember how you felt when you had your Spoiled Child meltdown yesterday—the emotional pain, the anger, the feelings that they (your family) didn’t love you and that you, therefore, didn’t care about them; that you would just cross them out of your life. Ask yourself: when did you used to feel like that? When did you experience those same emotions? When you were a child! When you were not getting love in the way you needed it. When you feel that way now, it is a signal that—not so much the spoiled child—but the hurt, wounded, emotionally neglected and abandoned child has come back up to the surface of the personality, and is getting ready to run the show from her hurt, pain and wounds.

It is then time for you to remember, you are not that child any longer. You are very loved and respected by your brother, mother and especially by your nieces. They think that you are the greatest!

It is time for you to live up to the high image of yourself that you have put forward all of these years. You are being watched; from those above and those below. They are watching you very carefully to see how you come out of this challenge; a serious challenge, yes, but not necessarily deadly. Remember: you still call the shots about when to stay and when to leave; and what to do while you are here; about the quality of your journey; who you are and how you behave. Ask yourself: do I really want to stay here? What do I truly want in my heart?

Toni:

My health back! My strength! My strong, beautiful body! To be whole! Disease-free!

Reflections:

I am a spiritual warrior. One who has a mission and is committed to that mission regardless of what obstacles may appear. And what is my mission? The fulfillment of my Soul’s purpose for being here-now.

I now commit myself with discipline to find my new path; to complete this transformation and to fulfill my Soul’s function and purpose this lifetime. And I can only know and express that by exploring the deepest and tiniest desires of my heart.

I now ride the rushing waves of my life! Living fully from every CHAKRA; even the first and second! I am ready to know myself again as a sexual being. I am willing to let go of old paradigms of which I am probably not even aware and within which I am still living. I release my past. I step out of the box and am ready to jump into the void—the unknown which will lead to freedom, joy, health, abundance and love…love…love!

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