one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘The eternal struggle of light and dark’ Category

Today…

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Light Breaking Through – Photo by Toni Roberts

 

I let go of

   doing

 

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Light & Dark: Battle Eternal – Photo by Toni Roberts

to practice

   being

 

 

 

 

I Am Learning…

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Reflections – Photo by Toni Roberts

 

to permit

 

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Fog Rolling In – Photo by Toni Roberts

 

each moment of my life

   to unfold…

 

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La Pareja Con El Arte de Kathy Vega – Photo by Toni Roberts

 

   as it may

 

 

 

 

More of Toni Roberts’ Work:

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

 

On Death By Suicide…

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River…Post-Davin; photo by Toni Roberts; copyright 2016

the loss of my beloved grandson

who last month

at the tender age of twenty-one

exercised

free will

his by divine right

and chose to exit this world quickly…

via a bullet to the head...

Got me thinking about

death by suicide…

and how all humans leave this realm

via death by suicide

   consciously…by their own hand

or unconsciously…

blaming their leave-taking on Fate or “God…”

forgetting that we are all creatures of

free will

   and that nothing

not even death is imposed upon us by some

mysterious all-powerful Force

It is we who knowingly or unknowingly

create these painful, ghastly, unimaginable  dis-eases

that debilitate and devour our our bodies

system by system…

organ by organ…

in a slow death by suicide...

Indeed…by the use or misuse of free will…

all death is by our daily decisions and choices

although my heart breaks at the thought of the degree of unendurable psychic pain

that drove my beloved to so quickly end this earthly sojourn…

this shared here-now…

I grant him his right of

conscious exercise of 

free-will…

And I here-now bless the Essence of the boy-man I so loved

on Its continued journey

Spent All Day Photographing The River And…

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Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

   weeping...

releasing deep pain

I didn’t know remained

      within

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Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

probably brushing it aside

in prayer and meditation

   whenever it came up…

as if the release of psychic pain

   is not an ongoing job…

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Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

   and so…

I have given myself this entire week

   OFF…

Saturday to Saturday

vacation

retreat

seclusion

no business

   no telephone calls…

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Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

 

   just the

   river

   my

   tears…

and

this profound sense of

   mourning

for whom?

or what?

   can’t name it…

   only know that a part of me…

a

heavy load

I’ve carried deep within my heart

since the beginning of

   memory

   can now be released…

during this week of

vacation

retreat

   letting go...

this week of

   death…

and

    dying things

New Year…New Life…New Way of Being…

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(photo by Toni Roberts)

I spent so many years of my life

turned outward

looking to the world for a way out of the

misery

of

existence…

searching outside of

Self

for the answers…

      for the solutions to life’s dilemmas…

   another job…

   in the classroom…

   out of the classroom…

   to the corporate world…

 no!

the non-profits!

back and forth up and down round and round

until finally

battered

beaten

bruised

   knocked down…but not out…

by stage 3 breast cancer

   I gave up…

   gave in…

surrendered

to

WHATEVER IT IS

THAT

CAUSED ME INTO

BEING

   in the first place…

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(photo by Toni Roberts)

  and since then…

IT and i

   have been caught up in a loving embrace…

totally and completely

   AT-ONE…

 

i have relinquished the lead

and now follow that

   Inner Directive…

   right out of the box of the past…

into a new year

a new life

   a new way of being

Happy 2016 to one and all!

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