one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘sudden death’ Category

In Celebration Of The Winter Solstice…Season of Death And Re-birth…

2nd-set-davin-collage-4-21-15-038

The Davin Collage: Journey to Manhood; A Visual Portrait of the Life of Davin Adonis Roberts by His Grandmother, Toni Roberts

 

If parents are not supposed to lose children

Then grandparents

Sure as

Hell

Should not have to lose a grandchild!

As I’ve lost my

Beloved Davin

   But…

You know what?

This is life in a human-created world

And in a human-created world

SHIT HAPPENS

And so today

As I sit here in celebration of my

78th Year

In this human-created world

I turn my attention from

Death

To the Re-birth theme of this

Holy Season

And to the welcoming of my

New grandchild

Who has chosen to enter this world on

The day of Her Nana’s Birth!

Tis’ indeed

A Time of Letting Go

As I welcome New Life into the Family…

   Anyway…who knows?

LIFE

   Is very tricky sometimes…

   Perhaps…

   Just…perhaps…

The arrival of my new

Beloved

On the day of my own birth

is a sign from my

Dearly Departed

that

   He’s back…

  

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Farewell to Ayanna Guyhto…My Beloved Niece…

Yana and bijou 2012They took my beloved Ayanna off of life support today. The body is slowly shutting down. I can no longer say her body because I sense her soul has already returned to the Meeting Place: that SpaceTime wherein we make our plans for the next excursion to flesh bodies

I weep–not for my beloved–for she is free

I weep for myself

For the heavy ache of her absence

I weep for the loss of that bubbly personality…

And the shared jokes that only she and I got

I am already missing the Emails…

And the telephone conversations

In which we dared to reveal to one another

Parts of ourselves ordinarily kept hidden

I miss the easy going intimacy we shared…

And the trust

You hold a piece of my heart baby-girl…

And I will always treasure the part of you

That you left behind…as memories

I will always treasure the uniqueness of the daughter-from-another-mother relationship we shared in this go-round as spirits-in-flesh. And although I so look forward to our reunion on the Other Side, I am in no hurry to leave this crazy Third-Dimension that we both so thoroughly enjoy. I will continue drumming my ass off every Saturday–hoping the reverberations reach all the way to Wherever you are. I will walk my mile a day–take my supplements and eat organic–in the care of this holy temple.  I will continue plunging fully into the exquisite joy of living. I will squeeze every drop of Love that I can–into each day–just as you did–beloved baby-girl–

Niece…daughter of my heart

I bid you adieu, sweet one…A Dios…See ya’…

On Death…Dying…Souls Leaving Without Saying Good-bye…Tears…Laughter and Drumming For My Life In Marcus Garvey Park…

souls leaving without saying good-bye…

Spoke to my old college buddy, M., this morning.

Her husband, C., keeled over and died in the middle of their conversation

in their hotel room

in Atlantic City

Friday morning.

There he was one minute yammering away

and then he was gone

in

a

split

second.

M. was asking him from the bathroom,

having just gotten out of the shower herself,

if he was going to shower next or

wait until morning?

“Now.” He answers her. “I can smell myself.”

Then...thud

She hears what sounds like something dropping on the floor

in the next room.

And sure enough…

something had dropped on the floor…

her husband.

He was stone, cold dead.

That makes me weep.

I weep not

for my friend, M.

nor for her husband, C.

I weep because life is so fragile…

so temporary…

so uncertain.

As I sit here at my window altar

writing these words,

I have no way of knowing if they will be my last

and if in a week or so

my daughter will  be using her

emergency key to enter my apartment

to dispose of my rotting, stinking body

after my soul had up and decided to leave today

without even saying good-bye.

That thought makes makes me laugh…

And think.

And I am then filled with gratitude

another beautiful day of life…

for having left this apartment yesterday

to meet up with my Sister Drum Slut, Y.

in Marcus Garvey Park

where I drummed my ass off

along with a handful of diehard drummers

squeezing in as much drumming as we can

before fall turns to winter

and it’s just too damn cold

to sit out there in the park

drumming for hours as if

our lives depended upon it.

And they do…

our lives…

depend upon it…

at least mine does…

We drummed as if our spirits

would up and leave

without

saying

good-bye…

if we didn’t drum for our lives…

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