one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘submission to higher power’ Category

I Am Finding…

perseverance...

perseverance…

that everything in my life flows in TIMEon time

with all the pieces fitting together nicely

to make one beautiful whole…

that when I hold my fourth and second CHAKRAS

in an open and receptive YIN position…

perfect YANG energy appears in my life

in the form of a man whose energetic frequency

vibrates at a rate fully complementary

to my own vibrational frequency

that it does not matter how many years

I have inhabited this human form…

for as long as I leave myself open and receptive

I am born again and again…

and each new woman

comes into being

in the full and lusty expression of her

Goddess Self

that whenever I surrender

to the so-called Divine

I am–in Truth–turning my life over to

a built-in, self-correcting system

of planetary evolution…

and that learning to trust this

Great Mystery of evolution

is a process...

and that the more I trust this process

the more I am rewarded...

and the more I am rewarded

the more I trust this process

And finally…

I am finding that “God” really does not need

my assistance in all of this…

just my willingness…

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After The Rain…Light…Understanding…

after the rain...

after the rain…

 

Instead of drumming this Saturday, I spent quiet time at my window altar–with the river.

Rising above the chatter of my “monkey brain,” I sat in the peaceful silence of my rain-washed world–listening within:

This drumming, my dear–just like the words that you write–comes through you. You, the ego-personality, are not the owner of your creative productions. The words, and sounds come through you from a Source that also determines the why, what, when, where and how of it all.

Do not attempt to order your gifts; trying to determine whence they come and go.

Life is not yours to order. It is yours to remain open, receptive and in service to That Which lies behind, beneath, above and at each side of all form. 

You are learning to understand–and more importantly–to accept and live a reality which is the only authentic Reality there is.

It is a process of opening the heart in trust and releasing the pain you did not know was there.

It is truly living from the inside out: letting your 3-D world unfold in, as and through you; bypassing the ego.

It is not the human way  of being. 

It is a process of “un-conditioning” the mind.

Have patience with yourself.

I am with you.

We are with you.

“Altared” States Five…

“altared” states…

As I sit here daily

“altared” at my altar

I am discovering that there is, indeed, Something here in my heart

that responds to me intelligently and oh, so lovingly

as I push valiantly along this path of no signs.

I have  HELPERS  as real as you and I…

whose words of wisdom and truth

keep me faith-filled and grounded:

God is in charge.

The only sane choice ever…in all matters…is to wait for God to act first.

Keep your focus off of that which you desire.

Turn your attention ever-inward to the Christ Indwelling…

to that “Place” within from which True Life and all Being unfolds.

Remember–you are only a vessel…an instrument…

the vehicle and not the driver…the clay and not the sculptor.

 In this endlessly unfolding human drama…

you are neither playwright nor director…

you are merely an actor…and a bit part player, at that. 

 When you can be perfectly at peace with these Truths of your being…

when you are able to “chop wood and haul water” with joy and gratitude

for being so privileged as to be so used by the Creator

then and only then will you experience peace beyond understanding and

yeah, that kind of rich” abundance.

Remove your attention from the world of form and

keep it glued to the Power which underlies

all that you see.

I  thank you, my Inner TeachersAspects of my Greater Self.

I pledge to You the same faithfulness and constancy that you show me

day by day, step by step as I move prayerfully and cautiously through this  life.

And although I cannot see, touch or hear you with my physical senses

I know that You are indeed, with me always

in all ways.

I know beyond a shadow of doubt

that as I continue seeking the “kingdom” within…

all else shall be added unto me.

Ashe.

“Altared” At My Altar On A Number Seven Day…Incoming Message…

Today is a number seven day…

a day of surrender to the Source of your being.

This is a very propitious time…

with much going on in the lives of those connected to you…

You must remain anchored in Spirit

Allow your God to be you…

to guide your every thought…every action…

every step you take and

word you speak.

Remember–your only job is to

keep on loving and to use your human will to

maintain conscious connection to

The Great Mystery

Let It do the Work

inas…and through you…

from the inside out…

The Battles Belong to God…

These earthly battles, indeed, belong to to God: that Holy Presence that has taken up residence in my third and fourth CHAKRAS

that Intelligence with which I communicate in these sacred moments

that mysterious Force that draws me here to this holy spot

above my beloved river

today swollen and

windblown

my river…

Mother God waging Battle

for the survival of Her children:

all the two and four-legged creatures

all those who crawl or grow

along the Body of Her

Sister:

Gaia

Rolling waters

hurried along by the wind…

not wise to tarry in danger

and there is much danger

all around…

it comes by air

by water

by sight and sound…

visions of madness upon the land…

humanity gone berserk

lost in the lunacy of

their own imaginings…

killer cruelty ruling the earth…

a million lives taken…

a noble mountain leveled…

all the same…

I watch from my perch

high above the rapidly rolling

river

listening to words of

Truth

that flow from That Which Has Taken Up Residence in my

heart and solar plexus…

and then I know…

all is just as it must be…

and so, I kick back

and I am at peace once more…

in Love

at-one with my world…

I can leave the battles to God…

A Day of Gratitude and Understanding…

rising…rising…ever rising…

What joy!

Am learning to give this life I call “mine” back to Life: it’s rightful “Owner”

Thank You…Life

for this sense of peace, safety, love, security, assurance

which arises from a place

deep within The Mystery

assuring me that all is well…

that You now flow freely…unobstructed in, as and through me…

as the True Author of this

ever-changing…ever-evolving

experience

called the life of Toni Roberts…

I now see shape and purpose

in the daily unfolding of a journey

that began before the beginning of time...

I am re-membering what “i” came here knowing…

even then in the ignorant, pain-filled innocence

of childhood…adolescence…young adulthood…

even then I knew

at some deep

essential

level of being…

the purpose of this journey…

I now understand:

it is through the of deep wounds

of the soul…

that Light passes through

and with that Light

Love

long held down…repressed by Fear

Love

bubbling up to the surface of being…

transforming

a chaotic…badly constructed…and purposeless

Idiot’s Tale called human life on planet earth

into

the experience of

channeling Life

from the inside out

“Altared” States Three…

I’m in my space…

in my groove…

how I love this “altared” time

this place

this space

with God…

this sacred time

this looking in

this listening

and watching…

this joy-filled

peaceful

moment of surrender…

of total submission to

whatever IT is

that caused me

into

   being

Awakening…Gratitude…

awakening…

It began with guilt. I could not summon up the energy–the will–to go out into this oppressive,  New York-in-August-heat to visit my ninety-two year old; “Alzheimer-ed” mother.

I do wish to do right by her instead of just being what she deserves–what she has sown.

Found myself forgiving her–again–for all of those things real and imagined that I’m still holding against her thus preventing the full influx of God Power.

I forgive you, mother. God forgives you. Forgive yourself and thus release your troubled soul–freeing it to journey back HOME where we shall surely meet again.

And in the next lifetime–should there be another lifetime for each or either of us–let us come together in peace, tolerance and love…

I release us both  from all that came before this awakening…

I release us to the Love of God.

celebration of gratitude…

I am so thankful that I am not the boss of this life

The I that I AM takes back control from the frightened, conditioned Ego…

This Ego that refuses to accept…to submit to Something Higher than Itself…

This Ego that has assigned Itself the role of directing  human consciousness

This Ego Who, with false Pride and Iron Hand maintains the illusion of personal control

 

Good-bye Pride…

Adios, Ego…

I bid you both adieu

As I bow down before

The Anointed One

Whom I am here to serve

As holy instrument and

Divine vehicle of Love…

An unsullied vessel through which

peace, light and healing may flow…

Blessing this life I call mine

Plus the lives of all…

In and out of the flesh

Whose energy touches mine

 

I hereby release all the deceptions, fear-based beliefs and

Conditioning of this world as I slowly and gratefully awaken to

Truth and Reality

On Becoming a Wise-Woman…

a view from my window altar…

Just sitting here at my window altar drinking in the beauty of this late summer afternoon. Thinking about what these times of personal adversity are teaching me. I am becoming a Wise-Woman…am being tempered by life.

Am learning that a Wise-Woman accepts what is and goes within for shelter…guidance…security…fulfillment. In the midst of pain and adversity, she remembers who she is and Whom she has come to serve.

She recognizes her dark nights of the soul and accepts them with peace and tranquility in her heart…knowing that this too has come to pass

contemplation…

A Wise-Woman depends upon her faith to see her through…regardless of how small and meager that faith may be.

She understands that solutions are not to be found in the madness of the external world but in the silence of her heart…

She knows that regardless of how difficult circumstances become, she must remain cheerful and upbeat…”laughing in the Devil‘s face.”

evening falls…

A Wise-Woman remembers that Her Holy Husband Which Art In Heaven…the Other Side of Who She Is …is more powerful than any danger in the  apparent world.

She knows that if she allows her spirit to be broken by life…she will surely die. And so adversity may bend her but she never breaks.

Through it all, the Wise-Woman maintains that inner Light…that tiny, mustard seed of faith…knowing that she shall rise again–reborn…renewed…reformed from the ashes of her dead self…and outmoded ways of being in the world

In times of adversity a Wise-Woman shuts her mouth and clings to her God

The Mist…

my river is hidden in a sea of mist…

like my life

everything covered…

hidden

shrouded in mystery and uncertainty

as much as I strain

 I cannot see past the mist to that which is invisible…

not for me to see

or know

and so I am forced into Patience

into sitting here in contemplation of the mist

waiting in Time

the medium through which

the Creator works

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