one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘spiritual surrender’ Category

I know That I Am In Accord With The Cosmos…

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Candle On Altar – Arrangement/Photography by Toni Roberts

when everything in my life falls right into its perfect place…

as if by magic

 

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Today’s Prayer…

CHAKRA Flowering – Artwork/Photography by Toni Roberts

 

please

help me to just stay “Woke…”

and not fall back asleep

again

 

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When Life Gets to Be Too Much…

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All-Boxed-In – Washington Square Park; NYC – Photograph by Toni Roberts

 

Slip silently into your cocoonAs does the wise caterpillar 

Allow the mystery of self-transformation to occur within the secret darkness of cocoon-turned-womb 

Emerge reborntransformed 

Butterfly-in-flight…

 

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Today…I Let Every Aspect of My Life…

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Burning Candle On Altar – Photograph by Toni Roberts

 

flow

from

the

INSIDE

OUT

 

   without my supervision

 

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I Give Myself to the…

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Grandmother Tree – Photograph by  Toni Roberts

LIFE

that

feeds

the

tree

of

which

i

am

merely

a

   branch

 

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On Becoming Whole…

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The River At Winter – Photography by Toni Roberts

The river at winter…

Makes me weep

 

“Black” boys killing each other…

Makes me weep

 

The genocide of my people…and other people-of-color…

Makes me weep

 

And, how well I know: “Of mine own selfI can do nothing…”

 

And that…

Makes me weep profusely

 

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Double Rainbow Over the River: Hope – Photograph by Toni Roberts

As it also gives me hope

For it is only when I give up the illusion of personal human power

It is in that moment of surrender: bodymind…soul…lifeego...

Surrender of my very Beingness…that I am assured that all is well

And I…and my dusty world are made Whole

 

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A Bit of Wisdom from a Tribal Elder…

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In Memoriam – Rest In Peace Beloveds – Altar/Photo by Toni Roberts

I have finally learned that when I do not know what to do…

To do nothing

In the past…whenever I impatiently pushed forward out of restlessnessuncertaintyfeardoubt or confusion

Not really knowing WTF

I wound up ultimately creating just another dead-end of darkness, uncertainty and confusion

All over again…

It took me all of these years in the School of Hard Knocks…to finally get it

I now know to sit and breath into the empty gap between what was…and what will be…in calm equanimity…while accepting the Ego’s discomfort…

Until…eventually…the next experience unfolds…naturallyorganicallyinas…and through me…

Without the schemesplans…and self-profiting manipulations of the Ego

Bottom line: every thing…every person…every circumstance…every event….every situation in our lives…just as it is…has come to pass…and will passon its own…and all we have to do…as we used to say in my day…

Is chill

Toni Roberts

 

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Letting Go…

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Clouds Over River 9-13-15; photo by Toni Roberts

Perhaps the time has come for us humans to consciously and deliberately loosen our fear-basedlife or death grip on this third dimension of a greater REALITY

How we do cling to our earth experiences as if this is all there is to LIFE… as if this experience as flesh beings is the BE-ALL of existence…

How about trying something new for a month or so? Just to see what happens…

Take an hour each day in the Silence of the Now Moment…forget about your BODY…your LIFE…and the myriad PROBLEMS bombarding you…

Simply “Let go and let God’…”

And if you do not believe in any Power greater than your human power…or any reality other than your human reality…simply relax into the “nothingness” of your being as you observe your breath

Do this religiously…daily…for at least one month…and see what happens…

You have nothing to lose…n’cest pas? And you gain an hour of relaxation that can only benefit that body in which you so much believe…

 

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Let Us Lay Our Collective Pain At The Altar Of Love…

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Altar of Love – Photograph by Toni Roberts

This Path I’ve chosen to walk is indeed, a “straight and narrow “one!

No longer can I stray onto the familiar side streets of anger and sarcasm: my old defenses…my old way of covering up hurt, disappointment, or emotional pain. All of those feelings that strong “Black” women (and women of any hue…truly…) have been conditioned to swallow. From childhood we become experts in covering up…in camouflaging our emotional pain. We swallow it until we are choking with a rage and anger that must be released lest we burst into a million pieces.

***

I have learned to take ‘time out” when I feel that inner volcano getting ready to explode. I then explore what lies below the rage. Ultimately, I discover hurt feelings or suppressed emotional pain. I then give myself permission to be human and vulnerable without the shame of feeling weak.  I allow my heart to hold both pain and righteous anger. For each is both justified and valid. I then lay them both at the Altar of Mother WisdomLady Peace…and Sister Harmony.

***

Ultimately, words of wisdomlovecompassionunderstandingforgiveness and kindness…begin to flow into consciousness; words that wash away any residue of pain or anger that might still lay hidden in the secret recesses of my heart.  Thus, instead of wounding words born of anger, my response becomes a healing balm to the heart of whoever wounded me. For underneath the attacker’s anger and harsh words or actions was her/his own hidden pain. For s/he too has been acculturated just as I; and has learned that it is safer to go into attack mode than to show the weakness of one’s human vulnerability.

***

It’s time to break this vicious cycle. Let us be courageous enough to feel our painindividual and collective. Let us weep together. Let us acknowledge to ourselves and to each other our human fears and vulnerabilities. Let us stop and think before uttering those hurtful words or otherwise inflicting pain upon each other.

Let us lay our collective pain at the Altar of Love.

(copyright: 2019 – Toni Roberts)

 

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The Secret Of A Long…Happy…Healthy…Creative…Productive Life:

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Yemaya Working Her Magic – Altar/Photograph by Toni Roberts

is to always remember that…

regardless of the situation…

the only thing that you can change in the equation…

is

YOU

 

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