one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘spiritual battle’ Category

When Life Gets to Be Too Much…

1471

All-Boxed-In – Washington Square Park; NYC – Photograph by Toni Roberts

 

Slip silently into your cocoonAs does the wise caterpillar 

Allow the mystery of self-transformation to occur within the secret darkness of cocoon-turned-womb 

Emerge reborntransformed 

Butterfly-in-flight…

 

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Let Us Lay Our Collective Pain At The Altar Of Love…

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Altar of Love – Photograph by Toni Roberts

This Path I’ve chosen to walk is indeed, a “straight and narrow “one!

No longer can I stray onto the familiar side streets of anger and sarcasm: my old defenses…my old way of covering up hurt, disappointment, or emotional pain. All of those feelings that strong “Black” women (and women of any hue…truly…) have been conditioned to swallow. From childhood we become experts in covering up…in camouflaging our emotional pain. We swallow it until we are choking with a rage and anger that must be released lest we burst into a million pieces.

***

I have learned to take ‘time out” when I feel that inner volcano getting ready to explode. I then explore what lies below the rage. Ultimately, I discover hurt feelings or suppressed emotional pain. I then give myself permission to be human and vulnerable without the shame of feeling weak.  I allow my heart to hold both pain and righteous anger. For each is both justified and valid. I then lay them both at the Altar of Mother WisdomLady Peace…and Sister Harmony.

***

Ultimately, words of wisdomlovecompassionunderstandingforgiveness and kindness…begin to flow into consciousness; words that wash away any residue of pain or anger that might still lay hidden in the secret recesses of my heart.  Thus, instead of wounding words born of anger, my response becomes a healing balm to the heart of whoever wounded me. For underneath the attacker’s anger and harsh words or actions was her/his own hidden pain. For s/he too has been acculturated just as I; and has learned that it is safer to go into attack mode than to show the weakness of one’s human vulnerability.

***

It’s time to break this vicious cycle. Let us be courageous enough to feel our painindividual and collective. Let us weep together. Let us acknowledge to ourselves and to each other our human fears and vulnerabilities. Let us stop and think before uttering those hurtful words or otherwise inflicting pain upon each other.

Let us lay our collective pain at the Altar of Love.

(copyright: 2019 – Toni Roberts)

 

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

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We Build Walls to Separate Ourselves…

I Am Mother…Earth…Giver of Life…Artwork & Photography by Toni Roberts

from those who are merely outer reflections of our own inner SELVES…parts of who we are…who for one reason or another…we will not see…feel…or accept…

The outer enemies are merely substitutes for the hated parts of Self upon which we cannot bear to look…aspects of a Self that lay hidden deep and invisible within the Subconscious Mind

That is…until unsuspecting Others come along…upon whom our Inner Enemies can then safely be projected…

Instead of building outer walls…to protect ourselves from those horrid things which dwell within…let us try journeying inward…to ferret out the Unseen Inner Enemies…Let us dismantle the inner walls that block entrance to the Subconscious Mind…the true dwelling place of the evil hordes that threaten us from without…

Thus…we shall discover that we are…One WorldOne PeopleOne Love

Safe in the Ample Bosom of That Which Gives Life

 

(Copyright: Toni Roberts 1/13/2019)

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www.fineartamerica.com/artist/toni+roberts

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On Overcoming Dis-Ease…

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All Boxed-In! – Photographed Washington Square Park, NYC by Toni Roberts

The question I ask my ailments is: What have you come to teach me?

The last time I initiated such a conversation was a few weeks ago when I noticed stiffness, pain and discomfort in my right knee.

Upon being questioned the knee answered:

“Get off your ass and go back to walking a mile a day! And puleeze, try to be more flexible and adaptable with people—and in your acceptance of life in general. You do realize, don’t you, that the world is not made in the image of Toni Roberts!?”

And so…In addition to changing my attitude…I got up off my lazy butt; bundled up against the bitter cold, New York City-wind-chill temperatures in the low 20s; and ventured outdoors. Well…perhaps I haven’t been doing the whole mile each day but I have been doing at least ¼ of a mile before heading to the Stop & Shop for my reward…

And as you would know it, one day recently, while walking against the push of the icy winds, I noticed that the right knee had stopped hurting…

I’ve been using this process of questioning physical and emotional pain or discomfort for a whole lot of years. It has not kept me free from all human ailments. That’s not the point. What I have discovered is that pain…diseases…even cancer…any and all discomforts and imbalances of  mind-body-soul…are the direct result of a disconnect  on our part, with the Energetic Frequency which underlies and maintains the balanced, harmonious, homeostatic equilibrium of the mind-body-spirit collective that we humans call “my body.” In Truth, it is neither “my” body nor “my” life. These “bodies” are manifestations of a Creative Energetic Intelligence that has Its own Mysterious Purpose. (Yeah…I know your Pastor has all the answers!) We humans are Its tools for the accomplishment of that Unknown Purpose. And surprise, surprise! We are not here to serve ourselves but as servants to that which has caused us into being.

When I am consciously in alignment with this Great Mystery of Life I am ageless being and whenever I fall out of alignment through errors of thought, belief or action; my imbalance manifests as dis-harmony and dis-ease of the body, mind or soul.

And when I am in-alignment how glorious and wondrous this existence becomes…and surprisingly without any conscious effort on my part…

Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

 

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.fineartamerica.com/artist/toni+roberts

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Overcoming The World…

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Overcoming the World – Photograph by Toni Roberts – Plant Life Growing From Between the Rocks – Central Park, NYC

Life is a series of adversities followed by abundant blessings

which cycle right back into adversity

the sun rises and then darkness descends

such is the rhythm and nature of human existence

we who would hope to emerge unscathed from Life‘s ups and downs must learn to bend

NONRESISTANCEACCEPTANCE...SURRENDER

lest ye be BROKEN by the ill-winds of misfortune…

 

(Copyright: Toni Roberts 1/8/2019)

 

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.fineartamerica.com/artist/toni+roberts

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Today…I Learn To Release…

056

Turning It Over…Window Altar Arrangement & Photography by Toni Roberts

the

fear-based

need

to

control

and

to

simply

let go and letGod‘…”

 

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.fineartamerica.com/artist/toni+roberts

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Yesterday…

"Reflections"  (2011) by toniroberts

Reflections…Photography by Toni Roberts

I swam against the current

attempting to change the current to my rhythm and flow

Today

I am flexibleadaptable

I bend and flow with the current

Allowing It’s Wisdom

It’s Knowledge of the Way

To carry me to Joy and Fulfillment

 

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.fineartamerica.com/artist/toni+roberts

Soldiers For Peace…

All Art Is Political – Original Artwork & Photography by Toni Roberts

we soldiers for peace

fight

an

inner battle

one held in

realms

below

the

surface

of

our

troubled

minds

 

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.fineartamerica.com/artist/toni+roberts

https://www.facebook.com/gaiadaughters

 

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