one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘self-healing’ Category

Today’s Prayer:

011

New Prayer Altar – Arrangement/Photography by Toni Roberts

 

show me what to give this day…

where…?

and to whom…?

Thank You

 

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The Ancestral Gates…

008

Opening the Ancestral Gates – Altar Arrangement & Photograph by Toni Roberts

have been opened

the Sacred Marriage consummated

and

new lifeborn

 

the cauldron fires of transformation are lit

the Ancestors contacted

healing is imminenthowever…

we are just at the beginning

and must remain openreceptiveobedientto impulsessigns…and signals

 

and…”word-up…”

FREEDOM

is

the

BYPRODUCT

of

the

process

 

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Power…

A Gathering of Spirit Power – Artwork/Photography by Toni Roberts

AUTHENTIC POWER

Is not power over anything or anyone….

IT is an Essential Creative Force moving inthrough…and as humanity…

working ITS will…within us…changing our world for the better

in mysterioushidden ways…

Is the TIME not Now that we humans put aside our bloated…misguided Egos and allow AUTHENTIC POWER to manifest inthrough…and as all that we think…say…do…and areaccording to ORIGINAL DESIGN…?

 

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To Know True Freedom…

004

Realizations At The Altar – Altar Arrangement/Photograph by Toni Roberts

 

is to

release oneself

from the

tyrannical preoccupation

with

SELF

 

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Healing…TRUE Healing…

altar shots 002

Opening the Ancestral Gates – Lighting the Cauldron Fires of Transformation – Altar Arrangement/Photograph by Toni Roberts

of body...soul…or mind

is…

and always has been…

from the inside

the Goddess-side

out

all other externally applied efforts can only result in temporary “cures…”

at best

 

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Today…I Let Every Aspect of My Life…

new altar shots 012

Burning Candle On Altar – Photograph by Toni Roberts

 

flow

from

the

INSIDE

OUT

 

   without my supervision

 

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Let Us Lay Our Collective Pain At The Altar Of Love…

007

Altar of Love – Photograph by Toni Roberts

This Path I’ve chosen to walk is indeed, a “straight and narrow “one!

No longer can I stray onto the familiar side streets of anger and sarcasm: my old defenses…my old way of covering up hurt, disappointment, or emotional pain. All of those feelings that strong “Black” women (and women of any hue…truly…) have been conditioned to swallow. From childhood we become experts in covering up…in camouflaging our emotional pain. We swallow it until we are choking with a rage and anger that must be released lest we burst into a million pieces.

***

I have learned to take ‘time out” when I feel that inner volcano getting ready to explode. I then explore what lies below the rage. Ultimately, I discover hurt feelings or suppressed emotional pain. I then give myself permission to be human and vulnerable without the shame of feeling weak.  I allow my heart to hold both pain and righteous anger. For each is both justified and valid. I then lay them both at the Altar of Mother WisdomLady Peace…and Sister Harmony.

***

Ultimately, words of wisdomlovecompassionunderstandingforgiveness and kindness…begin to flow into consciousness; words that wash away any residue of pain or anger that might still lay hidden in the secret recesses of my heart.  Thus, instead of wounding words born of anger, my response becomes a healing balm to the heart of whoever wounded me. For underneath the attacker’s anger and harsh words or actions was her/his own hidden pain. For s/he too has been acculturated just as I; and has learned that it is safer to go into attack mode than to show the weakness of one’s human vulnerability.

***

It’s time to break this vicious cycle. Let us be courageous enough to feel our painindividual and collective. Let us weep together. Let us acknowledge to ourselves and to each other our human fears and vulnerabilities. Let us stop and think before uttering those hurtful words or otherwise inflicting pain upon each other.

Let us lay our collective pain at the Altar of Love.

(copyright: 2019 – Toni Roberts)

 

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I Am Tired Of Following ANGER…

altar shots 001

La Madre Con La Pareja – Window Altar Arrangement & Photography by Toni Roberts

It never leads me to any good place…

 And whenever I stop…before acting on It

And take “Time Out…”

 To think

 I invariably discover

HURT

Of some kind…

Hiding…beneath the ANGER

 

I am now learning to WAIT before ACTING

Allowing my ANGER to dissipate in the LIGHT of TRUTH

 

 

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Turtle Totem…

altar 035

Turtle Totem With The “Ladies” – Altar Arrangement/Photograph by Toni Roberts

is teaching me how to live this life unscathed

how to take life easyslowlystep by careful step

and when in doubtuncertaintydanger…or confusion

how

to

retreat within

for the

wisdom, knowledge, understanding

and

courage

to

continue along

my

chosen

  PATH

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I Am Learning To Accept The TRUTH…

morning altar evening river 005

Morning Altar – Arrangement & Photograph by Toni Roberts

 

That I do not know what will happen in the next moment…much less tomorrow…

And so…I turn inward to That Which knows all there is to know

To That Which will deliver me safely

Into all of my tomorrows

 

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