one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘religion’ Category

“Altared” At My Altar On A Number Seven Day…Incoming Message…

Today is a number seven day…

a day of surrender to the Source of your being.

This is a very propitious time…

with much going on in the lives of those connected to you…

You must remain anchored in Spirit

Allow your God to be you…

to guide your every thought…every action…

every step you take and

word you speak.

Remember–your only job is to

keep on loving and to use your human will to

maintain conscious connection to

The Great Mystery

Let It do the Work

inas…and through you…

from the inside out…

Behind Every Cloud…

One of the things that makes life so thrilling and exciting

is that I know–that behind

every mystery…

every fear and unanswered question…

behind every dark, ominous cloud

behind every cloud…

no matter how bleak and threatening it may appear…

behind every cloud (two)…

the sun shines brilliantly…

clouds are temporary…

they pass

with or without

releasing their cleansing waters…

behind every cloud (three)…

but the sun–the sun is forever…

permanent…steady…never-failing…constant and consistent..

omnipresent

omniscient...

omnipotent

Life-Giving…

revealing gift after gift

to surprised and unsuspecting eyes…

replacing the hum-drum repetitive sameness

of an ego-driven existence

with the joy of

unexpected

fulfillment

of

of one’s deepest

most secret

dreams and desires...

Drumming in Marcus Garvey Park…

And yesterday…Saturday

after the gift of Friday with K. in Central Park

came the ecstasy of drumming in

Marcus Garvey Park

A Holy Circle of

modern-day santeros, babalawos, curanderas

women, men and children

who are called by

the Spirit of the Drum

Grandfather blessing my drum…

Gathering weekly to pay homage

to the Motherland: Africa

Lending body, mind and soul

as vehicles upon which the Orishas may ride…

Giving oneself up as intermediary

between the two worlds

vessels to be filled with the

Voice of Drum Spirit…

Holy Rhythms of Healing and Love

rippling out from the village of Harlem

in never ending circles…

through the city…

the nation…

the world…

A Day of Gratitude and Understanding…

rising…rising…ever rising…

What joy!

Am learning to give this life I call “mine” back to Life: it’s rightful “Owner”

Thank You…Life

for this sense of peace, safety, love, security, assurance

which arises from a place

deep within The Mystery

assuring me that all is well…

that You now flow freely…unobstructed in, as and through me…

as the True Author of this

ever-changing…ever-evolving

experience

called the life of Toni Roberts…

I now see shape and purpose

in the daily unfolding of a journey

that began before the beginning of time...

I am re-membering what “i” came here knowing…

even then in the ignorant, pain-filled innocence

of childhood…adolescence…young adulthood…

even then I knew

at some deep

essential

level of being…

the purpose of this journey…

I now understand:

it is through the of deep wounds

of the soul…

that Light passes through

and with that Light

Love

long held down…repressed by Fear

Love

bubbling up to the surface of being…

transforming

a chaotic…badly constructed…and purposeless

Idiot’s Tale called human life on planet earth

into

the experience of

channeling Life

from the inside out

“Altared” States Three…

I’m in my space…

in my groove…

how I love this “altared” time

this place

this space

with God…

this sacred time

this looking in

this listening

and watching…

this joy-filled

peaceful

moment of surrender…

of total submission to

whatever IT is

that caused me

into

   being

“Altared” States Two…

message from the grandfathers…

listen

watch

you will know when and how to respond

to what Life presents…

your actions

will flow

smoothly…

naturally…

from the inside out…

without thought from

or judgement by

the

  ego

Awakening…Gratitude…

awakening…

It began with guilt. I could not summon up the energy–the will–to go out into this oppressive,  New York-in-August-heat to visit my ninety-two year old; “Alzheimer-ed” mother.

I do wish to do right by her instead of just being what she deserves–what she has sown.

Found myself forgiving her–again–for all of those things real and imagined that I’m still holding against her thus preventing the full influx of God Power.

I forgive you, mother. God forgives you. Forgive yourself and thus release your troubled soul–freeing it to journey back HOME where we shall surely meet again.

And in the next lifetime–should there be another lifetime for each or either of us–let us come together in peace, tolerance and love…

I release us both  from all that came before this awakening…

I release us to the Love of God.

celebration of gratitude…

I am so thankful that I am not the boss of this life

The I that I AM takes back control from the frightened, conditioned Ego…

This Ego that refuses to accept…to submit to Something Higher than Itself…

This Ego that has assigned Itself the role of directing  human consciousness

This Ego Who, with false Pride and Iron Hand maintains the illusion of personal control

 

Good-bye Pride…

Adios, Ego…

I bid you both adieu

As I bow down before

The Anointed One

Whom I am here to serve

As holy instrument and

Divine vehicle of Love…

An unsullied vessel through which

peace, light and healing may flow…

Blessing this life I call mine

Plus the lives of all…

In and out of the flesh

Whose energy touches mine

 

I hereby release all the deceptions, fear-based beliefs and

Conditioning of this world as I slowly and gratefully awaken to

Truth and Reality

Reflections…

reflections...

I am the Yielding

K’unYin…water…

Receptive Darkness of Being

the Feminine Aspect of this

Holy Collaboration…

I obey…

I follow…

I open and receive the

LIGHT

light and dark...yang and yin...the holy marriage...

I release the whole fantasy of what it means to be a human on planet earth

I let go of the dream of human power

I release my illusions and delusions about reality

and turn over the reins of this life to

Whatever the Source is from Which

my being flows…

I surrender

And in this Holy Surrender

the sun blazes…

My life unfolds…effortlessly

Peace…joy…comfort and immediate answers

to mind-numbing

energy-depleting

challenges

make themselves apparent

magic...

The living of life becomes magical

no struggle…no fight…

no pushing against the forces of Creation

Resolutions unfold like the petals of a rose…

The solution is contained within the very same seed

that houses the obstacle…

Like the rose and its thorns…


Holy Voodoo...

Reality shifts…

Understanding and Clarity take hold…

the world you’ve been conditioned into believing real

the one in which the ego believes itself the source of  power

gives way to the Invisible Realm

to that elusive realm of Spirit…that place of Holy Voodoo…

And life becomes a reflection of

the Inner Fire

that brilliant ray of Inner Light and Love that is

Creation Itself…

And you begin to know yourself as a channel…

clear and  unsullied through which

Creationcreates

Filled With Something Grand…

I am filled with something so grand

I cannot put a name to it

More splendid than a rainbow

A joy embedded so deeply

Within my heart…

Within my being…

Radiating throughout my body

And as it passes through me

It leaves in its wake

A rush of deep gratitude…

A love that spills from my eyes…

I send it to you

Do you feel it?

Right there…radiating from your heart

Pass it on…

A Conversation with Disease


    A Conversation with Disease

A very dear friend of mine has been suffering from a very painful, increasingly debilitating disease for many, many years now. We talked on the telephone earlier today and after we hung up, I was struck by how creaky and unstable her voice sounded. I could no longer hear or feel any power behind it. Has she given her power to the disease I thought—thinking about how much of her conversation these days is filled with talk about the disease and its effect on her body and life—and now she and the disease appeared to be locked in a battle for both.

It has been my personal experience that disease thrives on attention and negative energies such as anger and hatred—as in the emotions generated with an action or even a thought such as: I’m going to kill you. The disease most often will dig in deeper with: Oh, yeah, just try it and see who wins this battle, you jerk.

I then imagined myself, in her stead, in conversation with her disease and asked of it: What do you want of me? Why are you here? Who created you? The floodgate opened:

You’re the one who created me. You’re the one who can’t face the shadow aspects of your own psyche; those qualities within self that one projects onto the other. Yeah, you loved me, nurtured me, pampered and babied me until I grew up. Now that I have power of my own and am just beginning to enjoy this life you gave me, you want to get rid of me. Well, fat chance. I don’t care how many chemicals you pour into your body to poison and kill me. I’m stronger than any of them. They cannot create that garbage fast enough in their labs; and whatever they come up with, I’ll beat the crap out of it. And any traces that are left alive will turn around and kill your organs, tissues, cells…right down to your DNA. You cannot beat me in battle.

 There is one way, however, that you can uncreate me. And I am so sure you’re not going to do it—can’t do it—that I’m going to come right out and tell you how:

  All you have to do is own that part of yourself, the existence of which—you are unaware.

And that’s what my friend’s disease said to me when I began to question it in her stead.

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: