one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘rebirth’ Category

Mood Shifts…

the river so reflects my shifting moods

views 068

The Descent Of Darkness – Photo by Toni Roberts

from the

deepest

melancholy

 

views 099

The Light Enters – Photo by Toni Roberts

to the gentle rebirthing of

The Light...

all

phases

of

becoming

whole

 

In Celebration Of The Winter Solstice…Season of Death And Re-birth…

2nd-set-davin-collage-4-21-15-038

The Davin Collage: Journey to Manhood; A Visual Portrait of the Life of Davin Adonis Roberts by His Grandmother, Toni Roberts

 

If parents are not supposed to lose children

Then grandparents

Sure as

Hell

Should not have to lose a grandchild!

As I’ve lost my

Beloved Davin

   But…

You know what?

This is life in a human-created world

And in a human-created world

SHIT HAPPENS

And so today

As I sit here in celebration of my

78th Year

In this human-created world

I turn my attention from

Death

To the Re-birth theme of this

Holy Season

And to the welcoming of my

New grandchild

Who has chosen to enter this world on

The day of Her Nana’s Birth!

Tis’ indeed

A Time of Letting Go

As I welcome New Life into the Family…

   Anyway…who knows?

LIFE

   Is very tricky sometimes…

   Perhaps…

   Just…perhaps…

The arrival of my new

Beloved

On the day of my own birth

is a sign from my

Dearly Departed

that

   He’s back…

  

SURRENDER…

clouds 10 18 15 033

Photo by Toni Roberts

 

IS

A

BITCH!

“Rainy Days & Sundays…”

rainy day river 001

Rainy…River…Day; Photo by Toni Roberts

 

Nothing like a rainy day to turn one’s attention inward…

I was sitting here at my window altar

Exploring

Heart

   Soul…

and

Consciousness

When I uncovered tiny pockets of

Anger

Sadness

and

Rage

   That remained

Hidden

Within the dark recesses of my being…

   Buried…

   Stinking…

SHIT

Some of it dating back to childhood

   (And we all know how long ago that was!)…

Oh, how well I know

and remember

How

Unexpressed

Anger

Sadness

and

Rage

   Can…

   Will…

Eventually manifest in the

Flesh

as

   Disease…

And so…

On this rainy day

I got busy with the necessary

   Inner Work

Scrubbing

Cleansing

Mopping up

Vacuuming

Clearing

and

Cleaning out

The tons of stinking…festering…rotting

   SHIT…

I unloaded every speck that I could find of that

Inner Garbage

So that I may walk

Free

Clear

Light

   Unburdened

By yesterday’s pain

   Into tomorrow’s sunshine

Spent All Day Photographing The River And…

river 1 16 16 068

Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

   weeping...

releasing deep pain

I didn’t know remained

      within

river 1 16 16 081

Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

probably brushing it aside

in prayer and meditation

   whenever it came up…

as if the release of psychic pain

   is not an ongoing job…

river 1 16 16 046

Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

   and so…

I have given myself this entire week

   OFF…

Saturday to Saturday

vacation

retreat

seclusion

no business

   no telephone calls…

river 1 16 16 092

Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

 

   just the

   river

   my

   tears…

and

this profound sense of

   mourning

for whom?

or what?

   can’t name it…

   only know that a part of me…

a

heavy load

I’ve carried deep within my heart

since the beginning of

   memory

   can now be released…

during this week of

vacation

retreat

   letting go...

this week of

   death…

and

    dying things

New Year…New Life…New Way of Being…

sunset 1 4 16 014

(photo by Toni Roberts)

I spent so many years of my life

turned outward

looking to the world for a way out of the

misery

of

existence…

searching outside of

Self

for the answers…

      for the solutions to life’s dilemmas…

   another job…

   in the classroom…

   out of the classroom…

   to the corporate world…

 no!

the non-profits!

back and forth up and down round and round

until finally

battered

beaten

bruised

   knocked down…but not out…

by stage 3 breast cancer

   I gave up…

   gave in…

surrendered

to

WHATEVER IT IS

THAT

CAUSED ME INTO

BEING

   in the first place…

sunset 1 4 16 004

(photo by Toni Roberts)

  and since then…

IT and i

   have been caught up in a loving embrace…

totally and completely

   AT-ONE…

 

i have relinquished the lead

and now follow that

   Inner Directive…

   right out of the box of the past…

into a new year

a new life

   a new way of being

Happy 2016 to one and all!

Beyond The Fog…

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

 

tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock

the days tick-tock away…

one unfolding into the next…

tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock

as I wait in patience

to see

what will unfold from beyond the fog

what lay hidden beyond the veil…

in waiting mode I remain

holding this space

empty

for the

me

yet unborn

to this

world of  form…

tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock…

Join me. Come out as a Daughter of Gaia!

http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: