one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘ocean’ Category

More Gratitude and Insights…

the miracle of each new day…

I’m at my window altar in a state of gratitude: I have a roof over my head; central air-conditioning; good food in my belly; clean, oxygenated water to drink; supplements, fresh fruit; organic chicken wings thawing out in the kitchen for the meal I’ll prepare when I get hungry again. Does it get any better? Can it get any better in this one moment of peace and fulfillment of my immediate needs?

Perhaps that is precisely what I need to learn by practice: staying in the NOW–in the one and only moment in which I am acutely aware of having all that I need for fullness of contentment and joy. If I move one second–one millimeter “ahead” into a “future,”I then experience deprivationlack...being in need of

flowers growing in the land of imagination…

So…therefore…if my sense of lack…of not having my needs met…is experienced only when I allow my mind/imagination to wander from the PRESENT NOW MOMENT into a “future time“: a non-three-dimensional space-time that only exists in my mind-imagination, then, the very sense of lack or need that I experience is too an illusion…as illusionary as the non-existent future created by my mental projections.

the intersecting worlds of mind-imagination…

at the border…

And so, today I make a conscious choice to discipline my mind-imagination, keeping it focused in the HERE-NOW; for the HERE-NOW  is the only reality of existence. I now choose to maintain a constant “frame of mind” that is focused on inner listening…on the goings-on of the internal world. It takes an almost superhuman effort to resist the fascination…the addiction to what is happening in the external world. It is with great effort that I will remain vigilant, roping in my forever wandering mind-imagination and returning it Home.

I am beginning to get a sense of how the mind-imagination…human consciousness–individually and collectively– creates a whole “universe” outside of where we truly exist…

There’s more to come…I sense it just at the border…

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My Bronx Riviera Re-Visited

My Bronx Riviera Re-Visited                                            

     

Last night, sitting before my
altar…candle gazing…I became aware of the Flame’s Reflection: the little flame that “i” am.

If, indeed, it is true—as I
believe—that this human “me” this
small “i” is but a reflection of the
Great Light, the Great I AM, then
where in the purity of this Light/light
do I find the mean-spiritedness…the
smallness of self and character that
was revealed in yesterday’s blog?

What I revealed was my own shadow
self; that inner woman who has not yet embraced the Holiness of her Woman-Body;
the one who cringes at the folds above her own waist…the cellulite on her
thighs…the breasts that would hang to her waist if not haltered in the best of
bras…the one who’s words and actions are out of kilter.

I apologize to that unknown woman whose moment of meditative privacy I invaded with my camera and my scorn. I am truly sorry. Please forgive me.

Today, I honor you, Sister Crone, for the self-love and self-acceptance you represent; for your apparent knowledge that you are not your body—but a strong, bold woman of spirit comfortable in a temporary flesh suit that will be discarded upon the accomplishment of your mission here and your return to Spirit. You are a true Warrior, my sister. I aspire to reach the level of your confidence and self-assurance. You demonstrate a wholeness I’ve yet to reach.

I know that you forgive me. Thank you.

I now continue moving forward confronting the darkness that still lurks in the hidden corners of my heart; a darkness fed by fear and insecurity. And as I progress on this lifelong journey
of the spirit, walking boldly through the dark places toward the Light, the beauty of who I truly am will be reflected out into my world; healing and blessing all whom I encounter
along the way.

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