one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘life’ Category

Watching The River Flow…

watching the river flow...

watching the river flow

Another day of

sitting here in my favorite spot…

watching the river flow.

Slowly.

Easily.

Peacefully.

Effortlessly pressing forward

despite the disturbance

less than two minutes ago

caused by

three water scooters racing

along its surface.

I wonder…

had the river not been disturbed by those scooters,

wouldn’t it now be calm? At peace?

Its movement imperceptible to my eyes?

Is what I perceive as a disturbance

as a negative occurrence–

in truth–neither good nor bad

as regards the life of the river?

The boys have had their fun

and the river, now adjusting to the “disturbance”

is slowly falling back into equilibrium…

into its natural rhythm.

The “disturbance” has not in the least

veered the river from its steady course or

made it different from what it is.

And so, I take a lesson this day from the river

and allow  every person, event, experience, emotion and

appearance-of-the-moment

to pass through me as easily

as those  boys passed through the river below…

leaving it ultimately untouched, undisturbed

and pressing ever forward

in an unobstructed flow

towards its destiny.

Reflections On A Rainy Day…

reflections…

I am here to serve by being

I am part of an ongoing, ever-unfolding and expanding Creation

The more I quiet the intensity

of my human desires…

the more my will becomes one with the

Will of God

I owe God the proper upkeep of this body

and in order to do so

I must avail myself of every human means

until the body falls under the complete control of the Godhead

via

the indwelling Christ

at which time

the body is re-formed, re-newed and maintained

without interruption

I am here to serve as a

Woman-of-God...

“Altared” States Two…

message from the grandfathers…

listen

watch

you will know when and how to respond

to what Life presents…

your actions

will flow

smoothly…

naturally…

from the inside out…

without thought from

or judgement by

the

  ego

I’ve Found My Rhythm…

I’ve found my beat

One day out…

The next day in…

One day in the world with its

cares and tears…

The next day…

For me…

My body…my mind…my heart…my soul…

My healing

One hour out followed by one hour in…alone…

quiet…still…connected to

My Source of  being…

One moment out–the next in

One with Life…Self…God

out in out in out in out in out in out in...

Like my very breath…

I’ve found my rhythm

I’ve found my beat…

Filled With Something Grand…

I am filled with something so grand

I cannot put a name to it

More splendid than a rainbow

A joy embedded so deeply

Within my heart…

Within my being…

Radiating throughout my body

And as it passes through me

It leaves in its wake

A rush of deep gratitude…

A love that spills from my eyes…

I send it to you

Do you feel it?

Right there…radiating from your heart

Pass it on…

Finding One’s Way…

There's a fog upon the land...

 

Sometimes there’s a fog upon the land

and one cannot see one’s way

clearly…

Then an opening appears…

Getting through the fog...

 

 

And one can find one’s way through…

Finding safe passage...

 

Home free...

Self-Reflection…

Self-Reflection...

 

Looking within…

Thinking about self…

Reflecting…

Navel gazing…

Wondering…

Rejoicing…

Gratefully being…

Snow falling…

Winter…

Beauty…

Loving being here-now…

Loving being me here-now…

Happy living in interesting times

Finding it a blessing and not a curse…

Ain’t life just crazy GRAND?

Autumn…Season of Death

river at autumn

 

river at autumn II

 

Autumn…Season of Death

I sit here gazing out at my river…allowing my mind to drift along with its flow. I am reminded by the changing colors of the trees that summer has, indeed, passed; and like the trees on the far shore of the river, I, too, am undergoing a season of change…a season of death.

Unlike years prior, I am experiencing this season of death not with sadness and gloom but with a quiet joy in my heart because now, in this season of my maturity, I am experiencing death and rebirth simultaneously.

Who? What is dying? And how can I rejoice over the death of any part of self?

She who would hold me back on this journey of at-one-ment is gone. The fear-driven, doubting, ego-personality-self; the one who trusted nothing—no one—but her own blind, limited, ignorant-of-the-truth-self has passed away…

She’s been burned to ash in the fires of initiation; and from those ashes, my new, Christ-infused-Soul now arises.

The Sacred Marriage has taken place; my soul has taken a bridegroom—the Bridegroom.

Yang and Yin have been joined together. The Holy Couple now rule this body, mind, soul…life.

I AM renewed, rebuilt, restored as the God Seed takes root and flowers into new being.

My life is now lived under the authority of the GodWoman within to whom responsibility has been transferred. Instead of attempting work out (in my tired, little brain) every matter that gives me pause, I have given Her full permission to be my response in every matter and aspect of my life.

When I am brutally honest with myself, I am forced to admit that I, the “i” that is communicating these thoughts, does not have a clue as to what this “third dimension” of Reality and the myriad forms contained within it should look like. Therefore, I have returned responsibility for this life—individual and collective—to its rightful “Owner—that which is responsible for the creation and maintenance of the entire universe and all of its contents—including us confused humans.

My life is becoming a celebration of the demise of ruler-ship of the flesh and the triumphant restoration of the ruler-ship of what we humans perceive as the Divinity underlying all creation.

A Healing Mini-Vacation in Central Park

the hypnotic beauty of water...

I’ve been held house-prisoner for so many weeks this summer by the heat. Can’t take it. Yesterday was not as bad as it had been so I took advantage of being able to once again breathe outdoors, jumped on the express bus to Manhattan and headed to one of my most favorite places in the world: Central Park! Of course, with camera in-hand! Oh, the beauty of a day in Central Park. Made me feel grateful just to be alive and fortunate enough to have access to acres and acres of natural beauty just a bus ride away. It was a mini-vacation. Do enjoy my “vacation” photos!

lunch at the boathouse...

Who needs to pack a bag, jump on plane and travel to distant shores with such peace and beauty as this,  just a bus ride away? I was surprised at how few “inner city” New Yorkers take advantage of the Park.

 

 

 

Even the tunnels are exquisite works of art!

Fifth Avenue skyline...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking east above the trees at the Fifth Avenue skyline…the beauty of it takes one’s breath…

 

 

 

 

the castle...

 

 

Belvedere Castle set against the bluest, clearest most beautiful background “painted” by the Master!

You can see more photographs from my day in Central Park at http://www.rightstockphotos.com/view_photog.php?photogid=15

Enjoy!

Hard Lessons of This Path

new horizons...

Journal Entry: July 25, 2011

Hard Lessons of This Path I’ve Chosen to Tread

I find myself at a place of great struggle to continue to submit my human will to Divine Will or the Will of Something that is greater than my needy, greedy, fearful, and filled with earthly desires human will. It ain’t easy! But then, “they” say if the Path were easy, more would tread it—or something like that. This Path I’ve chosen is one of isolation, fear and doubt yet Something keeps me pushing forward towards the Light. There is now present an inner certainty that has moved beyond mere belief into a deep visceral knowing.

I am learning to use consciousness—my mind—my thinking, reasoning capabilities. That has been my major weak point. I have always moved directly from the realm of emotions and feelings into action. God-forbid my allowing my mind or powers of reasoning to intervene. I now find myself able to maintain that state of Divine Tension: that period of extreme discomfort while waiting in the void; in the emptiness and uncertainty that precedes acting from the highest wisdom and love.

I find myself somewhat of a participating observer in what is still—surprisingly—very much my life. In fact, this changing life that I am living becomes daily more of a reflection of my deepest heart and will. I am increasingly more able to release everyday concerns and fears; to release this beingness that I am to the in-breath—the inhalation of Life—and then allowing—the out-breath—the exhalation to become the forms, events and experiences of everyday existence.

I am having to accept that I am not in charge of what is being created through my human beingness. Nor am I in a position to see—to even guess the who? When? Why? Where? And how? of the path unfolding before me. I tread a path of patience, perseverance and continued learning at the inner Altar of Knowledge.

I am finding that this great Purpose which moves me to action is of far greater importance in the overall scheme of things than my individual plans, needs and desires. I am devoted to this Purpose, this Calling of mind/Mind, heart/Heart and will/Will to a higher vibratory level of being. I will follow It in the midst of all and any human circumstances, challenges and difficulties. The glamour of the third dimension is losing its allure. I stand at the brink of a new way of being human.

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