one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘life journey’ Category

The Most Difficult Part Of this Journey…

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“The Land” Up At The Berkshires – Photo Nine by Toni Roberts

or TREK

as some might say…

is the

LETTING…

the

ALLOWING

the

PERMITTING...

in place of the

DOING

 

the necessity of becoming a

participating observer

in one’s own life…

 

 

For more of Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography visit:

http://www.fineartamerica.com/artist/toni+roberts

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.facebook.com/designsbytoniroberts

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

 

Life Is So Strange…

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Day Three Summer Solstice 2017 – Altar – Photo by Toni Roberts

 

 

such a mystery

an

incomprehensible mystery

unfolding from the

inside

out

 

 

 

For more of Toni Roberts’ artwork and photography, visit:

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.fineartamerica.com/artist/toni+roberts

http://www.facebook.com/designsbytoniroberts

 

 

 

It Is The Letting Go…

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Surrender – Pencil Drawing/Photo by Toni Roberts

of all that one holds as

      TRUTH…

and

   REALITY

it is the learning to be

   IN…

but not

   OF…

this

MAN-MADE

world…

it is the

TOTAL

SURRENDER

to that which one cannot

touch

taste

smell

or

   see

and can only

hear

as a faint

echo

within one’s

   HEART

these are but a

sprinkling

of the

difficulties

one encounters

upon the

JOURNEY

to

   WHOLENESS

so be ye of strong

SPIRIT

and great

COURAGE

as ye embark upon this

   SACRED

INNER

   PATH

 

In Other Words…

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Photo by Toni Roberts

the

question

is the

key

that

opens

the

   door…

once the question has been asked

the questioner must remain

   silent and alert…

so as not to miss the opportunity...

   once the door swings open…

to enter a heretofore

   dark…

   hidden…

   unexplored…

room

of

the

   mansion…

a room filled to capacity with

un-imagined

treasures…

Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography are available at:

http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

Since I Now Know…

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Photo by Toni Roberts

 

that the

answer

is contained

within the

   question…

   I simply

ask…

   lean back…

   relax…

and say

YES

to the

      LETTING GO ENERGY…

Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography are available at:

http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

On Death By Suicide…

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River…Post-Davin; photo by Toni Roberts; copyright 2016

the loss of my beloved grandson

who last month

at the tender age of twenty-one

exercised

free will

his by divine right

and chose to exit this world quickly…

via a bullet to the head...

Got me thinking about

death by suicide…

and how all humans leave this realm

via death by suicide

   consciously…by their own hand

or unconsciously…

blaming their leave-taking on Fate or “God…”

forgetting that we are all creatures of

free will

   and that nothing

not even death is imposed upon us by some

mysterious all-powerful Force

It is we who knowingly or unknowingly

create these painful, ghastly, unimaginable  dis-eases

that debilitate and devour our our bodies

system by system…

organ by organ…

in a slow death by suicide...

Indeed…by the use or misuse of free will…

all death is by our daily decisions and choices

although my heart breaks at the thought of the degree of unendurable psychic pain

that drove my beloved to so quickly end this earthly sojourn…

this shared here-now…

I grant him his right of

conscious exercise of 

free-will…

And I here-now bless the Essence of the boy-man I so loved

on Its continued journey

New Year…New Life…New Way of Being…

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(photo by Toni Roberts)

I spent so many years of my life

turned outward

looking to the world for a way out of the

misery

of

existence…

searching outside of

Self

for the answers…

      for the solutions to life’s dilemmas…

   another job…

   in the classroom…

   out of the classroom…

   to the corporate world…

 no!

the non-profits!

back and forth up and down round and round

until finally

battered

beaten

bruised

   knocked down…but not out…

by stage 3 breast cancer

   I gave up…

   gave in…

surrendered

to

WHATEVER IT IS

THAT

CAUSED ME INTO

BEING

   in the first place…

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(photo by Toni Roberts)

  and since then…

IT and i

   have been caught up in a loving embrace…

totally and completely

   AT-ONE…

 

i have relinquished the lead

and now follow that

   Inner Directive…

   right out of the box of the past…

into a new year

a new life

   a new way of being

Happy 2016 to one and all!

Reflections On A Rainy Day…

reflections…

I am here to serve by being

I am part of an ongoing, ever-unfolding and expanding Creation

The more I quiet the intensity

of my human desires…

the more my will becomes one with the

Will of God

I owe God the proper upkeep of this body

and in order to do so

I must avail myself of every human means

until the body falls under the complete control of the Godhead

via

the indwelling Christ

at which time

the body is re-formed, re-newed and maintained

without interruption

I am here to serve as a

Woman-of-God...

On Death…Dying…Souls Leaving Without Saying Good-bye…Tears…Laughter and Drumming For My Life In Marcus Garvey Park…

souls leaving without saying good-bye…

Spoke to my old college buddy, M., this morning.

Her husband, C., keeled over and died in the middle of their conversation

in their hotel room

in Atlantic City

Friday morning.

There he was one minute yammering away

and then he was gone

in

a

split

second.

M. was asking him from the bathroom,

having just gotten out of the shower herself,

if he was going to shower next or

wait until morning?

“Now.” He answers her. “I can smell myself.”

Then...thud

She hears what sounds like something dropping on the floor

in the next room.

And sure enough…

something had dropped on the floor…

her husband.

He was stone, cold dead.

That makes me weep.

I weep not

for my friend, M.

nor for her husband, C.

I weep because life is so fragile…

so temporary…

so uncertain.

As I sit here at my window altar

writing these words,

I have no way of knowing if they will be my last

and if in a week or so

my daughter will  be using her

emergency key to enter my apartment

to dispose of my rotting, stinking body

after my soul had up and decided to leave today

without even saying good-bye.

That thought makes makes me laugh…

And think.

And I am then filled with gratitude

another beautiful day of life…

for having left this apartment yesterday

to meet up with my Sister Drum Slut, Y.

in Marcus Garvey Park

where I drummed my ass off

along with a handful of diehard drummers

squeezing in as much drumming as we can

before fall turns to winter

and it’s just too damn cold

to sit out there in the park

drumming for hours as if

our lives depended upon it.

And they do…

our lives…

depend upon it…

at least mine does…

We drummed as if our spirits

would up and leave

without

saying

good-bye…

if we didn’t drum for our lives…

My Love Team and I…

It felt so good

reaching out this weekend

to touch

those

whom

I

love…

All of my “sister-friends”

and male counterparts who are

animus to my anima

Strong beings of like spirit

indomitable warriors

who never give up or lose hope…

Women and men who have learned from life

that morning always follows night

that rainbows appear

after the most frightening of storms…

that new life follows

the bloody, backbreaking,

vagina-tearing pain of

childbirth…

I am so grateful for this love-team…

some of us having

looked major, boogie-men killers:

like cancer…strokes..heart attacks

straight in the eye–

defying self and societal conditioning–

making the so-called, killer,

blink first…

And now, my love-team and I

march on through Life

persevering and steadfast

laughing, dancing, dreaming, drumming…earning doctorate degrees

taking on new lovers

Never looking back…

oblivious to our contemporaries

who fall by the wayside

brought down by their belief

in sickness and

old

    age…

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