one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘journey from breast cancer to wholeness’ Category

It Is The Letting Go…

pencil drawings 019

Surrender – Pencil Drawing/Photo by Toni Roberts

of all that one holds as

      TRUTH…

and

   REALITY

it is the learning to be

   IN…

but not

   OF…

this

MAN-MADE

world…

it is the

TOTAL

SURRENDER

to that which one cannot

touch

taste

smell

or

   see

and can only

hear

as a faint

echo

within one’s

   HEART

these are but a

sprinkling

of the

difficulties

one encounters

upon the

JOURNEY

to

   WHOLENESS

so be ye of strong

SPIRIT

and great

COURAGE

as ye embark upon this

   SACRED

INNER

   PATH

 

I’ve Finally Cracked The Great Mystery…And Gained Mastery Over The Torments And Enigmas Of This Human Existence…

009

Daughters of Gaia; collage/photo by Toni Roberts

 

I’ve reached

the

bottom-line

of

bottom-lines…

I’ve found

the

   WAY:

     SIT DOWN…SHUT UP

and

   LISTEN…

      for the only way to

KNOWLEDGE

is via the

      INNER PATHWAY…

the way of the

   HEART…

THE WAY

   OUT

        IS ALWAYS…

       IN…

As I Sit Here In Contemplation Of My Navel…

the land sunday 6 26 16 039

“The Land,” The Berkshires, MA; Photo Seven by Toni Roberts

it’s beginning to dawn on me

through these recent days of

joy-mixed-pain

that there is no such thing as

good

or

bad

     in the events of life…

the land sunday 6 26 16 042

“The Land,” The Berkshires, MA; Photo by Toni Roberts

 

   it’s simply that…

shit happens so that other shit can happen

the land sunday 6 26 16 026

“The Land,” The Berkshires, MA; photo by Toni Roberts

LIFE

does nothing

to

   us…

only

for

   us…

and as trite as it may sound:

everything

comes

to

    pass

 

 

 

Since I Now Know…

rehab grounds 8 30 15 059

Photo by Toni Roberts

 

that the

answer

is contained

within the

   question…

   I simply

ask…

   lean back…

   relax…

and say

YES

to the

      LETTING GO ENERGY…

Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography are available at:

http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

“Rainy Days & Sundays…”

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Rainy…River…Day; Photo by Toni Roberts

 

Nothing like a rainy day to turn one’s attention inward…

I was sitting here at my window altar

Exploring

Heart

   Soul…

and

Consciousness

When I uncovered tiny pockets of

Anger

Sadness

and

Rage

   That remained

Hidden

Within the dark recesses of my being…

   Buried…

   Stinking…

SHIT

Some of it dating back to childhood

   (And we all know how long ago that was!)…

Oh, how well I know

and remember

How

Unexpressed

Anger

Sadness

and

Rage

   Can…

   Will…

Eventually manifest in the

Flesh

as

   Disease…

And so…

On this rainy day

I got busy with the necessary

   Inner Work

Scrubbing

Cleansing

Mopping up

Vacuuming

Clearing

and

Cleaning out

The tons of stinking…festering…rotting

   SHIT…

I unloaded every speck that I could find of that

Inner Garbage

So that I may walk

Free

Clear

Light

   Unburdened

By yesterday’s pain

   Into tomorrow’s sunshine

Spent All Day Photographing The River And…

river 1 16 16 068

Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

   weeping...

releasing deep pain

I didn’t know remained

      within

river 1 16 16 081

Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

probably brushing it aside

in prayer and meditation

   whenever it came up…

as if the release of psychic pain

   is not an ongoing job…

river 1 16 16 046

Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

   and so…

I have given myself this entire week

   OFF…

Saturday to Saturday

vacation

retreat

seclusion

no business

   no telephone calls…

river 1 16 16 092

Photo by Toni Roberts 1/16/16

 

   just the

   river

   my

   tears…

and

this profound sense of

   mourning

for whom?

or what?

   can’t name it…

   only know that a part of me…

a

heavy load

I’ve carried deep within my heart

since the beginning of

   memory

   can now be released…

during this week of

vacation

retreat

   letting go...

this week of

   death…

and

    dying things

New Year…New Life…New Way of Being…

sunset 1 4 16 014

(photo by Toni Roberts)

I spent so many years of my life

turned outward

looking to the world for a way out of the

misery

of

existence…

searching outside of

Self

for the answers…

      for the solutions to life’s dilemmas…

   another job…

   in the classroom…

   out of the classroom…

   to the corporate world…

 no!

the non-profits!

back and forth up and down round and round

until finally

battered

beaten

bruised

   knocked down…but not out…

by stage 3 breast cancer

   I gave up…

   gave in…

surrendered

to

WHATEVER IT IS

THAT

CAUSED ME INTO

BEING

   in the first place…

sunset 1 4 16 004

(photo by Toni Roberts)

  and since then…

IT and i

   have been caught up in a loving embrace…

totally and completely

   AT-ONE…

 

i have relinquished the lead

and now follow that

   Inner Directive…

   right out of the box of the past…

into a new year

a new life

   a new way of being

Happy 2016 to one and all!

A Second Day Of Blazing Glory!

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

What a privilege

Indeed for

My eyes to so feast

Upon all this glory

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

What have I done to deserve it?

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

   Nothing more than breathing in and breathing out…

And even that is not done by the “i” who writes these words

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

Thank You

Whatever

Mother Nature?

For the glory upon which these eyes

   This day feast…

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography May Be Viewed & Purchased at:

 http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

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