one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘higher calling’ Category

I Am Slowly Learning…

river 9 16 14 008

Hutchinson River, Bx., NY; Photo by Toni Roberts

to stop trying to push

the rivers of my life…

   to simply let them

flow

as

they

    will…

   arriving at their own destinations…

   unfolding in their own time…

Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography are available at:

http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

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An Ode to the Nameless One…

jan 27 2012 084Thank You,

Whatever You are.

I waste not “our” time

Trying to name You.

You are the Nameless One…

Yet,  more real to  me

Than the hand that writes these words.

You are intangible,

Un-graspable

Spirit…

Inner Vapor…

Untouchable…

So beyond my five senses

Yet so real…

So present

In your flow

Through

In

As

All that “i” am.

“Altared” States Five…

“altared” states…

As I sit here daily

“altared” at my altar

I am discovering that there is, indeed, Something here in my heart

that responds to me intelligently and oh, so lovingly

as I push valiantly along this path of no signs.

I have  HELPERS  as real as you and I…

whose words of wisdom and truth

keep me faith-filled and grounded:

God is in charge.

The only sane choice ever…in all matters…is to wait for God to act first.

Keep your focus off of that which you desire.

Turn your attention ever-inward to the Christ Indwelling…

to that “Place” within from which True Life and all Being unfolds.

Remember–you are only a vessel…an instrument…

the vehicle and not the driver…the clay and not the sculptor.

 In this endlessly unfolding human drama…

you are neither playwright nor director…

you are merely an actor…and a bit part player, at that. 

 When you can be perfectly at peace with these Truths of your being…

when you are able to “chop wood and haul water” with joy and gratitude

for being so privileged as to be so used by the Creator

then and only then will you experience peace beyond understanding and

yeah, that kind of rich” abundance.

Remove your attention from the world of form and

keep it glued to the Power which underlies

all that you see.

I  thank you, my Inner TeachersAspects of my Greater Self.

I pledge to You the same faithfulness and constancy that you show me

day by day, step by step as I move prayerfully and cautiously through this  life.

And although I cannot see, touch or hear you with my physical senses

I know that You are indeed, with me always

in all ways.

I know beyond a shadow of doubt

that as I continue seeking the “kingdom” within…

all else shall be added unto me.

Ashe.

“Altared” At My Altar On A Number Seven Day…Incoming Message…

Today is a number seven day…

a day of surrender to the Source of your being.

This is a very propitious time…

with much going on in the lives of those connected to you…

You must remain anchored in Spirit

Allow your God to be you…

to guide your every thought…every action…

every step you take and

word you speak.

Remember–your only job is to

keep on loving and to use your human will to

maintain conscious connection to

The Great Mystery

Let It do the Work

inas…and through you…

from the inside out…

“Altared” States Three…

I’m in my space…

in my groove…

how I love this “altared” time

this place

this space

with God…

this sacred time

this looking in

this listening

and watching…

this joy-filled

peaceful

moment of surrender…

of total submission to

whatever IT is

that caused me

into

   being

Awakening…Gratitude…

awakening…

It began with guilt. I could not summon up the energy–the will–to go out into this oppressive,  New York-in-August-heat to visit my ninety-two year old; “Alzheimer-ed” mother.

I do wish to do right by her instead of just being what she deserves–what she has sown.

Found myself forgiving her–again–for all of those things real and imagined that I’m still holding against her thus preventing the full influx of God Power.

I forgive you, mother. God forgives you. Forgive yourself and thus release your troubled soul–freeing it to journey back HOME where we shall surely meet again.

And in the next lifetime–should there be another lifetime for each or either of us–let us come together in peace, tolerance and love…

I release us both  from all that came before this awakening…

I release us to the Love of God.

celebration of gratitude…

I am so thankful that I am not the boss of this life

The I that I AM takes back control from the frightened, conditioned Ego…

This Ego that refuses to accept…to submit to Something Higher than Itself…

This Ego that has assigned Itself the role of directing  human consciousness

This Ego Who, with false Pride and Iron Hand maintains the illusion of personal control

 

Good-bye Pride…

Adios, Ego…

I bid you both adieu

As I bow down before

The Anointed One

Whom I am here to serve

As holy instrument and

Divine vehicle of Love…

An unsullied vessel through which

peace, light and healing may flow…

Blessing this life I call mine

Plus the lives of all…

In and out of the flesh

Whose energy touches mine

 

I hereby release all the deceptions, fear-based beliefs and

Conditioning of this world as I slowly and gratefully awaken to

Truth and Reality

A Little Birdie Told Me…

a little birdie told me…

A little birdie–or maybe it wasn’t a little birdie–

but a big-ass pigeon–

landed on my windowsill this morning;

a brazen, little beast was he.

He didn’t shy–or fly away when I came up to the window–

but stood his ground.

“Hey, pigeon,” I asked,

“What message did you come to deliver to me?”

I then sat

in silence

before the window

and listened.

Sure enough, after a long silent while

my Messenger Pigeon began to speak:

“Slow down. Be cool fool. Chill Mill. You are on a journey of evolution. This is a process of becoming. I know, nothing is going your way. None of the things, events, circumstances for which you lust are manifesting. You must understand that NO THING that is not in alignment with your Divine Purposecan manifest.  You have already committed to The One. You’ve already turned over…surrendered the remainder of this incarnation to That Which Caused you–as you know yourself–into being. Period.

“You are AT-ONE. The Atonement is complete; solid. We are here and you are aware of our Presence.

“Fear not. That is your last stumbling block: Fear.  But as We continue demonstrating to you in the world of form–that so mesmerizes you who are caught up in the human drama-myth of separation–that there is NO THING TO FEAR FOR WE ARE WITH YOU–the fear will dissipate. It will lose its hold on your mind as your belief in the validity of the 3-D-world-of-form begins to loosen its stronghold on your mind.

“Take five, my dear! Give yourself a break. Rest. Back-off. Relax. Let. Allow. Relinquish that false sense of control.

“I’m off now, Dearie. Got a few more messages to deliver before returning HOME.

“Don’t you be jealous, now, dear child. One day, you too will be flying HOME. However, for now, you’ve got work to do…wood to chopwater to haul…all of it sacred work.”

Filled With Something Grand…

I am filled with something so grand

I cannot put a name to it

More splendid than a rainbow

A joy embedded so deeply

Within my heart…

Within my being…

Radiating throughout my body

And as it passes through me

It leaves in its wake

A rush of deep gratitude…

A love that spills from my eyes…

I send it to you

Do you feel it?

Right there…radiating from your heart

Pass it on…

Returning Whole…

Power-Up!

It’s been such a long time since I’ve had the urge to “blog.” I feel as if I am returning from a long voyage.

I was passing one of my collages this morning. It hangs on the wall above the altar in my meditation room that I call my “mojo” altar. That’s where I put symbols of those things I desire to see manifested in this reality. Putting an object, note or image on this altar is simply a way of turning it over to the Power within. It’s a giving-up of the object of desire to THAT from which springs all third-dimensional form.

I probably pass that collage at least fifty times a day. Today, for the first time in years,  I saw it. I was compelled to pick up my camera  and  photograph it. I was carried back to the year of its creation: 1998. The year I quit the last of a long series of well-paying,  part-time jobs that I hated and only took because I believed that a job was (1) protection against poverty  (2) the only way to generate income/money. I then rededicated myself–for the one-hundredth time at least–to my Muse: that Indwelling Intelligence that knows why this “I” had journeyed to the flesh and the way to fulfillment of my purpose in being.

I looked at the collage I had created back then with a kind of appreciation…gratitude for the woman I was then. I took it all in; section by section; image by image, and realized that the woman I was then, was calling into being those aspects of Feminine Power represented by the words and images she had chosen.

It has, indeed, been a long and arduous journey from then to now. However, I am back. And, I have returned WHOLE. All fragmented parts of Self have been reintegrated and are now functioning as ONE–under the direction of the Great Mystery that I call Divine Power–to which I have totally and fully surrendered. 

Autumn…Season of Death

river at autumn

 

river at autumn II

 

Autumn…Season of Death

I sit here gazing out at my river…allowing my mind to drift along with its flow. I am reminded by the changing colors of the trees that summer has, indeed, passed; and like the trees on the far shore of the river, I, too, am undergoing a season of change…a season of death.

Unlike years prior, I am experiencing this season of death not with sadness and gloom but with a quiet joy in my heart because now, in this season of my maturity, I am experiencing death and rebirth simultaneously.

Who? What is dying? And how can I rejoice over the death of any part of self?

She who would hold me back on this journey of at-one-ment is gone. The fear-driven, doubting, ego-personality-self; the one who trusted nothing—no one—but her own blind, limited, ignorant-of-the-truth-self has passed away…

She’s been burned to ash in the fires of initiation; and from those ashes, my new, Christ-infused-Soul now arises.

The Sacred Marriage has taken place; my soul has taken a bridegroom—the Bridegroom.

Yang and Yin have been joined together. The Holy Couple now rule this body, mind, soul…life.

I AM renewed, rebuilt, restored as the God Seed takes root and flowers into new being.

My life is now lived under the authority of the GodWoman within to whom responsibility has been transferred. Instead of attempting work out (in my tired, little brain) every matter that gives me pause, I have given Her full permission to be my response in every matter and aspect of my life.

When I am brutally honest with myself, I am forced to admit that I, the “i” that is communicating these thoughts, does not have a clue as to what this “third dimension” of Reality and the myriad forms contained within it should look like. Therefore, I have returned responsibility for this life—individual and collective—to its rightful “Owner—that which is responsible for the creation and maintenance of the entire universe and all of its contents—including us confused humans.

My life is becoming a celebration of the demise of ruler-ship of the flesh and the triumphant restoration of the ruler-ship of what we humans perceive as the Divinity underlying all creation.

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