one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘heart attacks’ Category

On Death…Dying…Souls Leaving Without Saying Good-bye…Tears…Laughter and Drumming For My Life In Marcus Garvey Park…

souls leaving without saying good-bye…

Spoke to my old college buddy, M., this morning.

Her husband, C., keeled over and died in the middle of their conversation

in their hotel room

in Atlantic City

Friday morning.

There he was one minute yammering away

and then he was gone

in

a

split

second.

M. was asking him from the bathroom,

having just gotten out of the shower herself,

if he was going to shower next or

wait until morning?

“Now.” He answers her. “I can smell myself.”

Then...thud

She hears what sounds like something dropping on the floor

in the next room.

And sure enough…

something had dropped on the floor…

her husband.

He was stone, cold dead.

That makes me weep.

I weep not

for my friend, M.

nor for her husband, C.

I weep because life is so fragile…

so temporary…

so uncertain.

As I sit here at my window altar

writing these words,

I have no way of knowing if they will be my last

and if in a week or so

my daughter will  be using her

emergency key to enter my apartment

to dispose of my rotting, stinking body

after my soul had up and decided to leave today

without even saying good-bye.

That thought makes makes me laugh…

And think.

And I am then filled with gratitude

another beautiful day of life…

for having left this apartment yesterday

to meet up with my Sister Drum Slut, Y.

in Marcus Garvey Park

where I drummed my ass off

along with a handful of diehard drummers

squeezing in as much drumming as we can

before fall turns to winter

and it’s just too damn cold

to sit out there in the park

drumming for hours as if

our lives depended upon it.

And they do…

our lives…

depend upon it…

at least mine does…

We drummed as if our spirits

would up and leave

without

saying

good-bye…

if we didn’t drum for our lives…

My Love Team and I…

It felt so good

reaching out this weekend

to touch

those

whom

I

love…

All of my “sister-friends”

and male counterparts who are

animus to my anima

Strong beings of like spirit

indomitable warriors

who never give up or lose hope…

Women and men who have learned from life

that morning always follows night

that rainbows appear

after the most frightening of storms…

that new life follows

the bloody, backbreaking,

vagina-tearing pain of

childbirth…

I am so grateful for this love-team…

some of us having

looked major, boogie-men killers:

like cancer…strokes..heart attacks

straight in the eye–

defying self and societal conditioning–

making the so-called, killer,

blink first…

And now, my love-team and I

march on through Life

persevering and steadfast

laughing, dancing, dreaming, drumming…earning doctorate degrees

taking on new lovers

Never looking back…

oblivious to our contemporaries

who fall by the wayside

brought down by their belief

in sickness and

old

    age…

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