one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘faith’ Category

“Altared” States Three…

I’m in my space…

in my groove…

how I love this “altared” time

this place

this space

with God…

this sacred time

this looking in

this listening

and watching…

this joy-filled

peaceful

moment of surrender…

of total submission to

whatever IT is

that caused me

into

   being

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“Altared” States Two…

message from the grandfathers…

listen

watch

you will know when and how to respond

to what Life presents…

your actions

will flow

smoothly…

naturally…

from the inside out…

without thought from

or judgement by

the

  ego

The Promise of Light…

sometimes my world is unbelievably bleak…

enveloped in darkness…

out of balance…off-kilter…

but yet…within the very darkness

is hope…

the promise of light

Awakening…Gratitude…

awakening…

It began with guilt. I could not summon up the energy–the will–to go out into this oppressive,  New York-in-August-heat to visit my ninety-two year old; “Alzheimer-ed” mother.

I do wish to do right by her instead of just being what she deserves–what she has sown.

Found myself forgiving her–again–for all of those things real and imagined that I’m still holding against her thus preventing the full influx of God Power.

I forgive you, mother. God forgives you. Forgive yourself and thus release your troubled soul–freeing it to journey back HOME where we shall surely meet again.

And in the next lifetime–should there be another lifetime for each or either of us–let us come together in peace, tolerance and love…

I release us both  from all that came before this awakening…

I release us to the Love of God.

celebration of gratitude…

I am so thankful that I am not the boss of this life

The I that I AM takes back control from the frightened, conditioned Ego…

This Ego that refuses to accept…to submit to Something Higher than Itself…

This Ego that has assigned Itself the role of directing  human consciousness

This Ego Who, with false Pride and Iron Hand maintains the illusion of personal control

 

Good-bye Pride…

Adios, Ego…

I bid you both adieu

As I bow down before

The Anointed One

Whom I am here to serve

As holy instrument and

Divine vehicle of Love…

An unsullied vessel through which

peace, light and healing may flow…

Blessing this life I call mine

Plus the lives of all…

In and out of the flesh

Whose energy touches mine

 

I hereby release all the deceptions, fear-based beliefs and

Conditioning of this world as I slowly and gratefully awaken to

Truth and Reality

On Becoming a Wise-Woman…

a view from my window altar…

Just sitting here at my window altar drinking in the beauty of this late summer afternoon. Thinking about what these times of personal adversity are teaching me. I am becoming a Wise-Woman…am being tempered by life.

Am learning that a Wise-Woman accepts what is and goes within for shelter…guidance…security…fulfillment. In the midst of pain and adversity, she remembers who she is and Whom she has come to serve.

She recognizes her dark nights of the soul and accepts them with peace and tranquility in her heart…knowing that this too has come to pass

contemplation…

A Wise-Woman depends upon her faith to see her through…regardless of how small and meager that faith may be.

She understands that solutions are not to be found in the madness of the external world but in the silence of her heart…

She knows that regardless of how difficult circumstances become, she must remain cheerful and upbeat…”laughing in the Devil‘s face.”

evening falls…

A Wise-Woman remembers that Her Holy Husband Which Art In Heaven…the Other Side of Who She Is …is more powerful than any danger in the  apparent world.

She knows that if she allows her spirit to be broken by life…she will surely die. And so adversity may bend her but she never breaks.

Through it all, the Wise-Woman maintains that inner Light…that tiny, mustard seed of faith…knowing that she shall rise again–reborn…renewed…reformed from the ashes of her dead self…and outmoded ways of being in the world

In times of adversity a Wise-Woman shuts her mouth and clings to her God

A Little Birdie Told Me…

a little birdie told me…

A little birdie–or maybe it wasn’t a little birdie–

but a big-ass pigeon–

landed on my windowsill this morning;

a brazen, little beast was he.

He didn’t shy–or fly away when I came up to the window–

but stood his ground.

“Hey, pigeon,” I asked,

“What message did you come to deliver to me?”

I then sat

in silence

before the window

and listened.

Sure enough, after a long silent while

my Messenger Pigeon began to speak:

“Slow down. Be cool fool. Chill Mill. You are on a journey of evolution. This is a process of becoming. I know, nothing is going your way. None of the things, events, circumstances for which you lust are manifesting. You must understand that NO THING that is not in alignment with your Divine Purposecan manifest.  You have already committed to The One. You’ve already turned over…surrendered the remainder of this incarnation to That Which Caused you–as you know yourself–into being. Period.

“You are AT-ONE. The Atonement is complete; solid. We are here and you are aware of our Presence.

“Fear not. That is your last stumbling block: Fear.  But as We continue demonstrating to you in the world of form–that so mesmerizes you who are caught up in the human drama-myth of separation–that there is NO THING TO FEAR FOR WE ARE WITH YOU–the fear will dissipate. It will lose its hold on your mind as your belief in the validity of the 3-D-world-of-form begins to loosen its stronghold on your mind.

“Take five, my dear! Give yourself a break. Rest. Back-off. Relax. Let. Allow. Relinquish that false sense of control.

“I’m off now, Dearie. Got a few more messages to deliver before returning HOME.

“Don’t you be jealous, now, dear child. One day, you too will be flying HOME. However, for now, you’ve got work to do…wood to chopwater to haul…all of it sacred work.”

In the Midst of Darkness…

In the Midst of Darkness…

the clouds break

and a rainbow shines through

a sign from the Heavens

that despite  appearances

all is Good

God is in the house

making promises of a tomorrow

that wipes away the pain

of today

An Open Letter to My Frightened Inner Child

My little One…

I am so sorry

I forgot about you

Forgot that you are always with me

that you are a part of me

a self within this Self that I AM

You’ve been feeling frightened…

helpless…

I know…

hey, little girl...i'm here...

Well, no more, my love

I am here and I am strong and courageous

There are no boogeymen  who can get me

I am safe

And I am your protector

I am not your parents, no…

I am nothing like your violent, abusive, alcoholic father

who terrorized you and your brother and your mother

for all of those long, frightening years…

hey, little one...you are safe now...

I am not your abused child-mother

who had not the inner or outer resources

to protect herself…

much less her two violated children

I am strong for I have

the strength of God flowing through

the blood…sinews…soul

of this body-mind

I am courageous because I know…

from living it

that no harm comes to me

when I am consciously cocooned in

GRACE

Come, little one…

walk by my side

Place your hand in mine

and thus we walk together

you and I and  the Christ-Spirit

Who walks by my side

clasping my hand…

At times lifting me up

to carry me over danger

We now have safe passage

you and I

through this

man-created world…

Come, my love…

give me your hand

Be at peace…

I gotcha!

Hanging On a Meat Rack in Hell

perseverance...

 

Hanging On a Meat Rack in Hell

My last blog? February 2, 2012. And where have I been for more than a month? Hanging on a meat rack in hell!! Closeted away with all of my hidden fears, shadow selves and yucky, dark ugliness hidden in the corners of my heart. Face to face with my denials. The walls of all my false assumptions and constructs ruthlessly ripped down…exposing me to rooms within the temple of my being, of whose existence I was totally ignorant. Every ugly, feared circumstance and event bursting onto the stage of my life with a vengeance. Challenges at every turn. Dumb, blind, disabled.

But I hung on. I persevered, clinging steadfastly to that invisible hand that reached out to me from nowhere. I followed the path of my two feet as I moved blindly along in the darkness—sensing by faith alone the light before me. I refused to let that fundamental Fear which inhabits the very gut of humanity shake me loose from the Truth of my Being. And thus, I have walked out of hell back into the light of this glorious, pre-spring afternoon. Once again, I am free. I step gingerly into a new phase of this process of initiation. I move step by careful step…day by day back out into the world created by humanity. Ever cautious of remaining in it but not of it.

My journey to the underworld was not without great lessons and benefits. I now know without a doubt and from personal experience and not hearsay, that as long as this human-ego-personality-self continues to move through this third-dimensional realm totally committed to the authentic Driver of this flesh vehicle; with my heart and will surrendered to the Oars-Woman who rows this boat down the river of life—this life of mine shall unfold smoothly—from the inside out—with fewer side trips to Hades.

It is also becoming crystal clear that the hell in which I found myself hanging was created by my own thoughts and emotions. I am seeing that we create our individual and collective hells from an invisible, mysterious, obedient to our mental and emotional demandsGod-Stuff.” As I grow in understanding and acceptance of what iswhatever it isregardless of how I perceive it—all things ultimately work out for my highest good and the highest good of all whose lives intersect with mine. What is needed from me is simply acceptance, patience and a persevering steadfastness of spirit—in the face of all fear and doubt.

And so, I move forward this day consciously generating and discharging into my world, strong waves of gratitude and love. This I do every single time I become aware of thinking a thought and/or feeling a feeling. For thought-forms and feelings (i.e., e-motions or energy-in-motion) are the building blocks of our third dimensional, human reality. Thus, I am becoming a co-creator or facilitator in what is, in essence, a Divine—for lack of another word—process or experience of being in a human form within this “space” that we’ve named planet earth.

By offering myself up as a clear, empty instrument or vessel of so-called Divine Energy, I become one with IT—separated from this humanly constructed, fear-based reality—and in a constant and conscious state of AT-ONE-MENT.

Thus I wait in patient anticipation to see what glory unfolds next in, as and through this bubble-in-the Cosmic-Soup-that “i” am.

I’ve Found My Rhythm…

I’ve found my beat

One day out…

The next day in…

One day in the world with its

cares and tears…

The next day…

For me…

My body…my mind…my heart…my soul…

My healing

One hour out followed by one hour in…alone…

quiet…still…connected to

My Source of  being…

One moment out–the next in

One with Life…Self…God

out in out in out in out in out in out in...

Like my very breath…

I’ve found my rhythm

I’ve found my beat…

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