one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for the ‘breast cancer’ Category

What Has Your Disease Come To Tell You?

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Winter Altar – Arrangement & Photograph by Toni Roberts

My experience with breast cancer some thirteen years ago taught me one thing…without a doubt

Disease is a messenger from the Soul!

Today as I sat before my altar in contemplative meditation…wondering about the cause of this sudden painful stiffness in my right thumb…and recent erratic blood pressure readings…the following Understandings drifted across the landscape of my mind:

All dis-ease is a physical manifestation of internalspiritual and/or psychological conditions…

Arthritis mirrors rigidity…an unwillingness to yield…to bend…to surrender to the realities of your physical existence…resistance and stubbornness…instead of non-resistance and surrender…

High or erratic blood pressure is a manifestation of your reacting emotionally to that which you find unpleasant and unacceptable…instead of rationally accepting that which you cannot change within the limitations of your human power…it is a result of emotionalism…of your repeating dysfunctional emotional patterns modeled by your immature parents…

***

We must learn to accept that which we cannot humanly change

***

Seek within for solutions…ask and you shall be answered…directed by Wisdom higher than the rational mind…

***

Nonresistancesurrenderacceptance…are the keys

***

And so, my Soul imparted this bit of Wisdom which I shall surely follow…for my Soul has never led me astray along this lifelong Journey to Wholeness

***

Whatever your stumbling blocks in life may be…I encourage you to seek within for solutions…for understanding…for guidance and wisdom

And then wait in quiet acceptance for the responding Message from your Soul

For your Soul will never lead you astray

Ase

 

In Other Words…

rehab grounds 8 30 15 038.JPG

Photo by Toni Roberts

the

question

is the

key

that

opens

the

   door…

once the question has been asked

the questioner must remain

   silent and alert…

so as not to miss the opportunity...

   once the door swings open…

to enter a heretofore

   dark…

   hidden…

   unexplored…

room

of

the

   mansion…

a room filled to capacity with

un-imagined

treasures…

Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography are available at:

http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

“Rainy Days & Sundays…”

rainy day river 001

Rainy…River…Day; Photo by Toni Roberts

 

Nothing like a rainy day to turn one’s attention inward…

I was sitting here at my window altar

Exploring

Heart

   Soul…

and

Consciousness

When I uncovered tiny pockets of

Anger

Sadness

and

Rage

   That remained

Hidden

Within the dark recesses of my being…

   Buried…

   Stinking…

SHIT

Some of it dating back to childhood

   (And we all know how long ago that was!)…

Oh, how well I know

and remember

How

Unexpressed

Anger

Sadness

and

Rage

   Can…

   Will…

Eventually manifest in the

Flesh

as

   Disease…

And so…

On this rainy day

I got busy with the necessary

   Inner Work

Scrubbing

Cleansing

Mopping up

Vacuuming

Clearing

and

Cleaning out

The tons of stinking…festering…rotting

   SHIT…

I unloaded every speck that I could find of that

Inner Garbage

So that I may walk

Free

Clear

Light

   Unburdened

By yesterday’s pain

   Into tomorrow’s sunshine

New Year…New Life…New Way of Being…

sunset 1 4 16 014

(photo by Toni Roberts)

I spent so many years of my life

turned outward

looking to the world for a way out of the

misery

of

existence…

searching outside of

Self

for the answers…

      for the solutions to life’s dilemmas…

   another job…

   in the classroom…

   out of the classroom…

   to the corporate world…

 no!

the non-profits!

back and forth up and down round and round

until finally

battered

beaten

bruised

   knocked down…but not out…

by stage 3 breast cancer

   I gave up…

   gave in…

surrendered

to

WHATEVER IT IS

THAT

CAUSED ME INTO

BEING

   in the first place…

sunset 1 4 16 004

(photo by Toni Roberts)

  and since then…

IT and i

   have been caught up in a loving embrace…

totally and completely

   AT-ONE…

 

i have relinquished the lead

and now follow that

   Inner Directive…

   right out of the box of the past…

into a new year

a new life

   a new way of being

Happy 2016 to one and all!

Rainy Days…

Photo by Toni Roberts

Photo by Toni Roberts

as I sit here at my window altar

gazing out at the river

watching the raindrops fall

I become aware of my role as

“Placeholder”

for

Divine Healing Energy

that moves

Backward and Forward

in

Time

healing the wounds of all the many

Bloodlines

that intersect within this

“Spacetime”

called

    “Toni Roberts…”

Toni Roberts’ Artwork and Photography May Be Viewed & Purchased at:

 http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

Melancholy…

Photo by Toni Roberts 8-11-15

Photo by Toni Roberts 8-11-15

Dark

Summer

Days

Come to haunt me…

Reflections of my inner state

Another Realization Along This Path To Wholeness…

The Light Dawns; photo by Toni Roberts

The Light Dawns; photo by Toni Roberts

It is imperative that I remember:

   All of the negativity that I see in the outer world…

   Which so disturbs me…

Is simply a reflection of my own

   Internal Shit…

   Which…

it would behoove me to begin

Clearing out immediately, consciously and conscientiously

   Before it all backs up

   And that will not be pretty

   And so…

As I continue on this Path

I remain ever mindful of that which the I Ching teaches:

You cannot fight corruption with corrupt motives

Injustice with self-serving interests

Or lies with hidden deception

Toni Roberts’ Artwork, Photography and Necklaces May Be Viewed And Purchased at:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/DesignsbyToniRoberts

http://www.cafepress.com/DaughtersofGaia

http://www.cafepress.com/orishatreasures

http://www.fineartamerica.com/art/all/toni+roberts/all

http://toniroberts.imagekind.com

http://www.facebook.com/gaiadaughters

Watching The River Be…

river at rest...

river at rest…

Sitting here at my window altar

In the stillness

After the rains…

The river

Dark and shadowy

Un-moving

Reminding me that I cannot push the river…

Make it flow…

Anymore than I can push my life…

“Make it happen”

All of the goals and dreams of glory…

Now in stillness…

Nothing moving…

Like the shadowy river below…

I am at peace…

Master of today…

Letting my life be as it will…

Living my process

With patience and not just

Endurance…

Feeling the exquisite joy of simply sitting here

At my window altar

Watching the river be

New Insights On Forgiveness…

sunset 3 26 2013 032

We do not

Cannot

Forgive anyone

In the sense of granting absolution

That is “God‘s” job: to forgive one’s sins against us

To forgive

In any meaningful, realistic sense

Is to release

Oneself from the shackles of

Anger

Rage

Hatred

And other

Life-sapping emotions

That rage within the heart and mind

To forgive

Is to clear oneself…

Body…Mind and Soul...

Making of oneself

A passageway for

Love…

Ever open and receptive

As Life

Pours in…as…through

One’s clear and unsullied being

Into the world

As

Form

An Ode to the Nameless One…

jan 27 2012 084Thank You,

Whatever You are.

I waste not “our” time

Trying to name You.

You are the Nameless One…

Yet,  more real to  me

Than the hand that writes these words.

You are intangible,

Un-graspable

Spirit…

Inner Vapor…

Untouchable…

So beyond my five senses

Yet so real…

So present

In your flow

Through

In

As

All that “i” am.

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