one woman's journey to wholeness…

Archive for October, 2011

“Blizzard” of October 29, 2011–Bronx, NYC

storm-tossed trees

A view from my window of storm-tossed trees

fall-colored leaves barely visible

heavily-laden branches swaying

to the rhythm of an unexpected wild

winter wind

snow monsters

huge, tentacled monsters

crawl slowly along the

snow-whitened grass

overtaking the bench

where I sat

just yesterday

in a quiet

autumn

moment

my river

windswept and snow-covered

my river lies barely visible

its autumn clothing

now covered in

winter’s garb

if i were an artist

If I were an artist

this would be an

oil painting

of my river

on october 29, 2011

 if i were a prolific artist

this would be a second rendition!

Autumn…Season of Death

river at autumn

 

river at autumn II

 

Autumn…Season of Death

I sit here gazing out at my river…allowing my mind to drift along with its flow. I am reminded by the changing colors of the trees that summer has, indeed, passed; and like the trees on the far shore of the river, I, too, am undergoing a season of change…a season of death.

Unlike years prior, I am experiencing this season of death not with sadness and gloom but with a quiet joy in my heart because now, in this season of my maturity, I am experiencing death and rebirth simultaneously.

Who? What is dying? And how can I rejoice over the death of any part of self?

She who would hold me back on this journey of at-one-ment is gone. The fear-driven, doubting, ego-personality-self; the one who trusted nothing—no one—but her own blind, limited, ignorant-of-the-truth-self has passed away…

She’s been burned to ash in the fires of initiation; and from those ashes, my new, Christ-infused-Soul now arises.

The Sacred Marriage has taken place; my soul has taken a bridegroom—the Bridegroom.

Yang and Yin have been joined together. The Holy Couple now rule this body, mind, soul…life.

I AM renewed, rebuilt, restored as the God Seed takes root and flowers into new being.

My life is now lived under the authority of the GodWoman within to whom responsibility has been transferred. Instead of attempting work out (in my tired, little brain) every matter that gives me pause, I have given Her full permission to be my response in every matter and aspect of my life.

When I am brutally honest with myself, I am forced to admit that I, the “i” that is communicating these thoughts, does not have a clue as to what this “third dimension” of Reality and the myriad forms contained within it should look like. Therefore, I have returned responsibility for this life—individual and collective—to its rightful “Owner—that which is responsible for the creation and maintenance of the entire universe and all of its contents—including us confused humans.

My life is becoming a celebration of the demise of ruler-ship of the flesh and the triumphant restoration of the ruler-ship of what we humans perceive as the Divinity underlying all creation.

A Conversation with Disease


    A Conversation with Disease

A very dear friend of mine has been suffering from a very painful, increasingly debilitating disease for many, many years now. We talked on the telephone earlier today and after we hung up, I was struck by how creaky and unstable her voice sounded. I could no longer hear or feel any power behind it. Has she given her power to the disease I thought—thinking about how much of her conversation these days is filled with talk about the disease and its effect on her body and life—and now she and the disease appeared to be locked in a battle for both.

It has been my personal experience that disease thrives on attention and negative energies such as anger and hatred—as in the emotions generated with an action or even a thought such as: I’m going to kill you. The disease most often will dig in deeper with: Oh, yeah, just try it and see who wins this battle, you jerk.

I then imagined myself, in her stead, in conversation with her disease and asked of it: What do you want of me? Why are you here? Who created you? The floodgate opened:

You’re the one who created me. You’re the one who can’t face the shadow aspects of your own psyche; those qualities within self that one projects onto the other. Yeah, you loved me, nurtured me, pampered and babied me until I grew up. Now that I have power of my own and am just beginning to enjoy this life you gave me, you want to get rid of me. Well, fat chance. I don’t care how many chemicals you pour into your body to poison and kill me. I’m stronger than any of them. They cannot create that garbage fast enough in their labs; and whatever they come up with, I’ll beat the crap out of it. And any traces that are left alive will turn around and kill your organs, tissues, cells…right down to your DNA. You cannot beat me in battle.

 There is one way, however, that you can uncreate me. And I am so sure you’re not going to do it—can’t do it—that I’m going to come right out and tell you how:

  All you have to do is own that part of yourself, the existence of which—you are unaware.

And that’s what my friend’s disease said to me when I began to question it in her stead.

Breaking Through

breaking through

 following the light…shimmering…shaking…breaking through

clarity

clarity comes suddenly…unannounced…insight, wisdom, understanding…

like a flash of light

through a glass darkly…

zooming

zooming…zooming…out of body…racing…flying…

all structures falling away

disintegration

falling apart…shifting…old structures shifting…crumbling

in the coming LIGHT

joyful holy union

culmination…AT-ONE-MENT…

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: