I notice that I become antsy and impatient when the action stops; when there is a lull–a time of waiting.
I must learn to lean into these moments of quiet waiting with gratitude, for these are my moments of healing. Like the ebb and flow of the river below, its tide rolling in and out; inflow-outflow; action-inaction; movement-rest. This is my time to rejuvenate; to accumulate the energy it will take to travel back and forth to Greenwich, CT; to sit with the chemo drip for three hours. This is the time I need to allow the drugs, Isis and God to do Their work on mind, body and soul.
All is in God’s Time. I must remember that and stop trying to push the river…just let it flow, Toni, just let it flow…
But doubt creeps in; must let go, get back to faith and trust in God-Isis within; trust in this process…this journey. It is divinely-directed and I must fear not.